GUCR Suvival Tips

Don't try these at home, try them on a canal.

OK I've been asked quite a bit for advice on how to run this race based on last years success. None of this is about training, more things to help you through the day(s) of the race. If I have forgotten anything then let me know.

Enjoy...

I’m hardly the authority on long distance ultra-running, however for what it’s worth here is some stuff in no particular order that helped me the first time round and some stuff I’m going to do differently next time.

Don’t take every little set-back personally. After a long time on your feet you start to suspect that the whole world is conspiring against you. It is easy to start thinking that it is raining because the clouds hate you, that a dog gets in your way because it hates you, a gate is a bit stuck because the guy who was supposed to fix it hates you and your support crew forgot the jaffa cakes because they really hate you. Thinking this way will make things worse (and possibly your friends to desert you)

To combat that try to take pleasure out of everything that goes your way, no matter how small. Like when a dog does not attack you, or someone stands aside or opens a gate, or some path that is nice and flat and not covered in mud. Smile when these happen, it helps.

Eat what you want to eat. You may get told that the absorption rates of the high protein content of your food may not be optimal for the blah blah blah. Hit that person with the large boring textbook they were reading from. Sometimes a burger or some piece of greasy saturated fatty meat just feels good, and that is more important.

I took crisps, pepperami, pot noodles, jaffa cakes and sweets. I also got sausage rolls, a burger and a subway. I carried protein bars from point to point without eating them. I knew they would do me good but like a kid who does not want to take his medicine I didn’t eat it. A big reason why people don’t finish races like this is because people don’t eat, and not because they eat the wrong things. Absorption rates, digestion and carb/protein rations are irrelevant if you are unwilling to put the stuff near your mouth in the first place. Think about what you may look forward to eating and take that.

I did drink huge amounts of High-5 4-1 energy sachets. Drink lots and early. If you have a crew get them to mix the stuff before you need it and then just pour it into your bladder/bottles.

A flask with hot water/tea/coffee is always useful to have for a support crew. At the time of writing the facebook group “A cup of tea solves everything” had 211,299 members”.

Don't stress too much about the sleep. You'll probably not sleep much on the friday night (this doesn't mean you shouldn't try..). Humans obviously need an amount of sleep to function normally but we are also are designed for occasional sleepless periods (such as mammoth hunts). I took some caffeine drink as it got dark on the first day and at no point did I feel like falling asleep. I did no night running beforehand.

Don’t try too hard to avoid things like water/mud. If it rains you and your feet are going to get wet, don’t fight it by wasting energy jumping about all over the place trying to avoid the water.

Don’t try to guess the exact distances you have covered using the maps (or even gps and things). You will naturally slow down a points when you are exhausted and your perception of time will be different. Don’t think too much about whether you’ve done 95 miles or 96, just concentrate on how you feel.

Support Crews – Try and resist giving exact distances unless you are sure. Saying “3 miles to the next checkpoint” when it is 4 will only lead to resentment. Try to make them feel better but not by lying. Imagine you are telling a friend that his new pair of pink lycra shorts look ludicrous. It hurts at the time but it’s for his own good.

When in pain and suffering think about the people who are not doing this race. Feel sorry for them, they are suffering much more than you, they just don’t know it.

Remember that this will be a learning experience for the crew too. They are likely to get things wrong, not be in the right place all the time. Think about the time they are dedicating to you, be thankful of having friends like that.

Similarly for the crew, remember that your runner may not be themselves at some stages. Don’t get offended and just accept it for now. There will be plenty of time after the race to play their tantrums back to them.

Fresh shoes/socks and T-shirts were a joy to put on, like sleeping in freshly laundered bedsheets.

The course leaves the canal twice. Once at about 45 miles and again at about 62 (check this). Otherwise no navigation is required. Try to remember these points and know where to go, neither are difficult but the paranoia of running some extra meters can reduce many a man (or woman) into a gibbering wreck.

2 days before this race I went to the supermarket and bought a weeks worth of food. I then spent the next 2 days pretending I was Rik Waller.

Take with you memories of races/runs where you felt really shit at some point and then turned out ok. Concentrate on how you felt rather than times/pace/positions etc. A few examples of the things I remember are;

The Jurassic coast challenge, 3 marathons in 3 days. The start of the third day I would barely walk, yet I could run most of 30 miles over huge hills. I learned not to trust my legs too much when they told me to give up

Dunwich Dynamo 200k bide ride. Done in the pouring rain in the middle of the night I spent the whole ride paranoid (completely unjustified) that my chain was going to snap and I’d have to find a barn or something to sleep in. It was freezing regardless of how much effort I put in. I learned from this not to take too much notice of my brain when under stress.

Round Rotherham 50. Again, freezing cold, wet and with indoor checkpoints that called me like sirens. They were so hard to leave, as soon as I stepped out I froze and wanted to go back indoors. Each time I’d feel better once I got moving. I learned not to focus on how I was feeling now but on how I could potentially feel in the future. It is often very different to now.

Shakespeare Marathon. I got a marathon pb the day after running a 24 mile fell race. I learned from this that sometimes stuff just doesn’t make sense.

Remember – The Tesco in Leighton Buzzard is NOT a 24 hour one. They won’t open at 3am, regardless of whether you explain why you are there.

The “importance” of Planning. I’m going to labour this one, it wont be relevant to most, but it may be for some, including me.
No doubt you will have read running books and magazines that spout auto-rhetoric about “planning makes perfect” and “failing to prepare is preparing to blah blah blah blah....”. While many do seek confirm and find use in careful preparation, others may find the process of planning difficult, stressful and ultimately counter-productive.
When I was meeting my support crew a week before with the intention of “planning” my run I could not tell them anything, it was too hard. The thought of thinking that far ahead as to what I may require at different stages was making be more stressed and more resentful of the race. I only paid lip-service to a “plan”.
On race day I arrived with no idea of how exactly I was going to do this, but I did know that along the way I’ll have to deal with stuff that I have dealt with before and with stuff that I hadn’t. I had no plan of how to deal with it, I just knew that I could. I winged the whole thing.
I’m not saying that this is the approach that everyone should take. In fact I suspect that 90% would benefit more by planning, which is fine. It’s not fine for running coaches/books/magazines to say that those who don’t/can’t plan are consigned to failure. It’s like saying that left handed people can never succeed.

Getting bored while running? If you have read this far you are not easily bored so you’ll be fine.

If you have a support crew at all it means that there are people who love you more than you may realise. That must make you feel better?

Remember during the race how far you have progressed as a runner in the time that you have run. It is humbling to recall the time I thought 4 miles on a treadmill was enough to kill me. How terrified I was of my first marathon, how I could not walk the day after my first ultra. These all sound silly to me now and I looked forward to the time when my apprehensions of this race seem silly.

Receiving the race number made the race a very real thing for me. Until I got the number and instructions through the post the GUCR was just some crazy thing that I had to do in the future sometime. I went from wanting to talk about it constantly to not wanting to talk about it. From being excited to being nervous. From dreaming about a glorious finish to actually wondering how the hell I was going to do this. There is no real advice in this paragraph, just some weird thing that happened to me.

Think about the finish constantly (from today until the second you finish). At some dark moment on the day(s) you may forget why you are there. You are there to experience the amazing thing that is the finish line. It becomes really easy to drop out if you can’t remember that.

Take heart in any “performance” results you may have had in the lead to this race. The times themselves are unimportant, however feeling like you are in the shape of your life is important. I got pb’s in the marathon, half and 10k in the build up to this. It helped me believe that I could do anything.

Think outside yourself if you are struggling with keeping your mind together. Think about what your friends may say if they were describing your race or imagine watching yourself talk at the end of the race. Thinking about yourself in the 3rd person is a great way to escape. 3 years pissing around on Facebook has made James very good at this. If you want a real ego trip then why not plan your own funeral? Who would be there? What would they say? Who would get really drunk and divulge some sordid secret about your past to others who didn’t know?

Blisters – Don’t have a lot to say on them as I just run with them and slash them at the end. I suggest that if you can run on them then do, but don’t try to change how you run as this will cause injury.

Take a phone and programme a list to send texts to. The constant drip of replies was uplifting.

If you get a chance to talk to passers by about what you are doing. Some dumbfounded looks and remarks you get are priceless. I’ll never forget the guy who nearly fell off his boat when I told him, and that was just a 50 miler.

Try to remember everything, the good and the bad. It will be part of you forever.

Town to Tring to Town

It is an interesting race format. Start of near my home in London, run to nowhere in particular, stop over in a hotel and the next day run back.

I'm always going to be sentimental about this canal as it was the scene of my first ultra and of my best race ever. I was not placing too many expectations on this after my collapse in Portland last week. I'd have liked to have taken both days fairly hard but was probably going to be restricted by my recovering body.

Many were in two minds about entering this as the price had doubled to £95 for the two days and last year the course was only 37.5 miles instead of 40. I decided to do it as it was so close to where I live there were no travel costs and there was nothing else on this weekend. Plus the organisers promised to make it 40, which was nice, I don't like wearing T-Shirts that big the wrong impression.

The start was a bit of a mess. Nick and I arrived before most and suffered a full equipment check. It's easy to get a bit complacent nowadays about stuff, though I'm still not sure how useful a whistle will be on a canal. They grumbled a bit about taking my bag to the finish (something that was included last year for half the price) and at first they said that the run will start by running to Kew Bridge, over it then along the river and back over.

The few of us who knew the area quite well knew that there was no way back over the river to the canal and could not quite understand where we'd end up going, then as we were outside ready to start word got around that we were running straight for the canal and not Kew Bridge. Not a great start and confirmation that it would be 37.5 miles again this year.

The start was fairly pedestrain. Ian and a group set out in front but were not going particularly quickly. I quickly realised 2 schoolboy errors that I made in packing my bag. Firstly I had forgotten all my food. Secondly I had not rinsed out my bladder and was essentially drinking washing up liquid.

I ran for a few miles with Drew and Nick but didn't like running on their heels so I ran off ahead. The first day was pretty uneventful. I was most worried about not having enough energy to get me round as I'd forgotten my food. When I arrived at the first checkpoint all they had was water (the website said there will be energy drink). I spent the time between the next checkpoint looking for a place where I could buy some food as I was unlikely to be able to run 37.5 miles empty. I could finish and it may be a useful fat burning excercise but it would do me no good training.

Fortunately the second checkpoint did have some chocolate and sweets and I took quite a few. I still was not confident on getting through without feeling hungry.

I managed to keep a fairly constant pace and overtook a few guys who had set out too fast. I got chatting to a guy who recognised me purely because of what I was wearing, my beige shorts and red top. The infamous runners world shot (July 2008 pg 107) of the Exmoor Marathon was etched onto his mind in a way he did not know. First time I have been recognised for my dress sense. He said he'd done the Exmoor Marathon and that it was his first. That is pretty hardcore. I'll never get to do my first again but if I did I doubt I'd do something like that.

It got much harder that I thought towards the end. I didn't remember feeling this bad last year. Technically the first day is "uphill" but only by a few hundred feet. There are regular locks that involve a short but steep incline. These hurt my back. Having run this course a few times now it has become familiar and I was waiting for a muddy grassy stretch followed by an area covered in trees. That was when to make the turning off the canal.

The finish was fairly unspectacular. I managed to avoid running into Tring like I did last year and finished at the hotel in 5.28. 6th place I think. I thought when I turned off the canal that it was not clear where to go once I was on the road. I knew where to go from previous times but others might not. I them discovered that the yellow arrow pointing people off the canal had now fallen and several people were running past it. 

Day 2 was far more interesting, for me anyway. It was a trip down memory lane where I got to enjoy in the daylight the times when I really suffered last May. My legs felt fine and up to the task. I was looking forward to seeing everything again.

It started with where it nearly ended, the canal entrance from Tring. This is exactly 100 miles of the gucr route but I thought it was 100.5. Seems silly now how I'd let something like that really get to me but it did. 

As I passed a lock near Berkhampstead I had a falshback of meeting Ben and Gowan who were gathered there with much of my food. I recall Ben offering me some sort of salad pitta which I dismissed instantly. Giggling about this to myself I managed to run over a bridge that I was supposed to run under.

I little while later I had to regret the very large cooked breakfast I had in the morning. In fact I didn't regret it at all. I tasted really nice and I wanted to get my moneys worth from the expensive hotel we were staying in. In reality it would only have cost me a few minutes. Well worth it to avoid eating porridge.

The most significant part of the whole weekend for me was passing springwell locks. I've passed them so many times but it was only now I was actually looking out for them. The last time I recall being there was when I sat down for 20 minutes and considered pulling out of the GUCR. It was odd seeing it in perfect daylight and without the tent. Last year I didn't really know where I was at this moment. This time it was easy to see. I looked at the sign for "Springwell Locks" and smiled. Remembering that the next 10 miles were to be the best running of my life last year I enjoyed a lift that sped me up for a while.

I didn't really have much of plan for this race (as usual) given that I'd been ill for a while. I wanted to try to get both days done under 5.30 but that was when I was feeling fine. I would have liked to do today in the same time as yesterday but I realised from the start that this was not going to happen. I was slowing from a lack of running recently.

I did have a reunion with some old friends. The Geese. Right now they all are grown up and without children and are fairly docile. They will get out of the way if you come running through and not make hissing noises. However I knew that soon these geese will all have chicks and will see me as a specific threat. I stared right into the eyes of those that will try to eat me come may.

The snow that was forecast for monday looked to be coming early as the end was nearing. Fortunately it only lasted a few minutes but was enough to start setting. The next day it was to snow moderately and bring London and much of the UK to a standstill.

The Glaxo building is the most distictive feature that signals the end of this race. Soon after seeing that you run under some enormous empty corrogated building and then off the canal onto the road. Finished in 5.54 or something. Came 6th again but 4th overall.

I was really pleased with the way this race went. I was not pleased with how it was organised. Ambition Events double the price and offered less for it. They grumbled when I asked them to transport a bag and the checkpoints were minimal. Many speculated that the high price tag was to fly 4 of them over from South Africa to bungle a race along a canal. Both races were again short even though I had assurances from them that this woulf not happen. I doubt I'd do this again despite being so local. I could do it myself. Begs the question though, If they make an arse out of a race along a canal near London then what on earth will they mess up when they send people to Namibia?

Austerity and the LDWA

Austerity and the LDWA

Gordon Brown (Prime Minister at time of writing) has told us that we have to tighten our belts. Given that most runners are using the very first holes in their belts I can only assume that for us specifically he means we should spend less money.

Marathon running can be expensive. The entry fees are going up all the time. You insist on buying shiny new trainers so that the photos (which also cost a bomb) will look good. You spend the evening in an overpriced italian restaurant where they
charge £2 "corkage" for tap water. You walk through the expo and insist that you need a pair of toe socks or another long sleeved running top to add to the other 12 air-tex billboards that you parade when running through your local park. Before you
know it you have dug a hole in your pension fund that you may regret in the extra years you are exercising yourself towards.

But is does not have to be this way, there is an alternative. One that will not require you to re-mortgage your house or sell one of your livers. And it is much closer than you think.

The Long Distance Walkers Association www.ldwa.org.uk is a goldmine for challenging runs. Every single week there are events ranging from 10-50 miles up and down the country. Though primarily aimed at walkers they usually welcome runners to all their events. These events are very different in nature to other "races" that you may have done. In fact they are not classed as races but as challenge events where the objective is to get around and have fun rather than to post a great time.

So, with a recession looming and destitution a possibility, why not try one of these great runs. Here is how they differ from the normal marathons that you may be more familiar with.

Cost

A typical marathon costs £30, has to be paid online long before the event, is not refundable or transferable and often incurs another credit card payment fee and requires you to recall one of the 17 passwords that you use for online payment.
LDWA events cost less than £10 or much less if you are a member and you can pay on the day with the extra spare change you now have since you stopped going to Starbucks every morning. Zero interest rates mean that your money is currently more
value to you stashed under a mattress and therefore cash payments on the day are the way forward. Joining the LDWA will save you a further pound on entries.

Travel

Do your bit for the environment and sit on trains that would otherwise be empty. You’ll often have to get up in the dark and navigate yourself to a London station and get a train to the middle of nowhere and then try to find the small clubhouse in which
most of these events are based. Trains are very cheap at 5.37 on a Sunday morning and makes a great change to flights and hotels with their hidden wi-fi charges. There is less time spent in airports and the temptation to buy needless electronics and
perfume branded in some "celebrity" chav at some semi abandoned train station in Kent is much less.

Expo

Marathon expos, like Ikea and Selfridges are cleverly designed so that you wander around in circles trying to find an exit that is not marked. By the time you finally exit you realise that you are carrying an electric skipping rope, 20 energy gels in a flavour you don't like and an innovative running top with extremely tapers sleeves that cause your hands to expand so you can paddle through the air costing £49.99. LDWA events on the other hand sometimes have a small box of sew-on badges that you can buy for £2.

Food and Drink

For your £30 in a marathon you get up to 12 cups of water or orange flavoured energy drink. If you are lucky you may get a gel or be able to snatch some sweets of small children along the course. LDWA menus are often extensive. In 4/5 checkpoints
along a typical course you can expect home made cake, biscuits, sweets, sausage rolls, Bombay mix, tea, coffee, crisps, cheese and pickle sandwiches, soup, marmite on toast, bananas and juice. The end normally has bacon sandwiches or burgers. If
anything you are probably going to put weight on running marathons with the LDWA. No need to tighten that belt just yet.

Equipment

Though you may take more stuff on an LDWA event the chances are that you already own most of it and so really you are only justifying previous investments. You don't need things like a waistband specific to the brand of overpriced sugar you consume every 30 minutes as suggested by the manufacturer. All you need is a rucksack to shove your rain jacket, compass, light, food and phone in.

Distance

Marathons are run in miles. Everyone knows that and these are usually displayed as you run so you can obsess about you split times and generally make yourself
miserable. LDWA events are actually run in paragraphs.

At the start of each event you will be given a few sides of A4 (plastic cover not included so remember to take one) which become the equivalent of mile markers. You navigate yourself through the English countryside and one by one the paragraphs fall. Some are obviously longer than others and some are made longer by poor navigation but that is part of the fun. You can mark your progress without having to look at your watch every 3 minutes. The last paragraph is a landmark, and you can often smell the bacon.

Route

Marathons are great for the first and last miles where it is actually in the city of interest. The remaining 24 miles if all too often on A roads or though dodgy industrial estates. Not that you are really looking, since you are too busy looking at your watch.

LDWA events take you on a journey through our very underrated countryside. Route descriptions often force you to look up and take note of some of the beautiful hill views and forests. There are often hidden treasures such as castles and villages that
you would never have noticed from running 26 miles of road.

It is normal to study a road marathons profile before the race and commit to memory every slight distortion in the 3rd dimension. LDWA events you don't know where you are going until you get there so this is not an issue. You often end up running further than the advertised distance but don't panic. The LDWA will not charge you extra for this.

Terrain

Lots of grass and trail but that makes your shoes last longer. Off road runs such as this are great training without smashing yourself up too much. Running on soft surfaces up-hill is great cross training and will reduce chances of further injury

Atmosphere

Running is a truly social sport, there is no doubt about that. It is easier to socialise on these races because at no point is anyone really busting a gut. It is difficult to judge whether to talk to someone or not in a road marathon as you never know how
they might respond. They may not be able to speak, or be really annoyed by your chirpiness as you overtake.

This is not a problem in the countryside. Everyone is out there for a nice brisk stroll through the mud and are happy to talk all day (and all day is what you have).

Should auld acquaintance be forgot and Laaa la laa Raa raaaaa

There are 365 days in the year to go out and get drunk on. Though I don't do so every night I have found it tiresome how there is so much emphasis placed on just one of these nights. New Years Eve is always an anticlimax, overpriced understaffed bars meaning I usually end up drinking myself sober and then the last thing I remember is an arduous journey home.

I'm not sure exactly how I found out about this race but it seemed like a good idea from the start. Why not see in the new year doing what I like most? Also an interesting bonus was that if I'd finished as the first Brit I'd get a certificate that says I was the faster British Marathon runner of 2009. Seemed like a nice gimmick, only I'd accidentally invited Simon and Ben along and they were faster than me.

Zurich was freezing. We arrived around noon on new years eve and found it difficult to believe that it was colder than London is right now. It was about minus 3. While we had a couple of hours sleep in the evening it snowed and covered the ground with several inches of think snow. It was the perfect kind for making a snowman, unfortunately we didn't have the time.

The start of this marathon is quite low key, in a school in west Zurich. It was nice to get out of the cold but we knew it was only getting colder and we would have to go out there soon. Ben and I were the only ones who were wearing shorts, everyone else opting to wrap up much warmer. Part of me thought that I was making a mistake by not covering my legs in the cold, but I decided to settle on the opinion that is was just the Europeans being soft.

There was some sort of countdown before the start of the race when everyone gathered outside. It was in German and I could only pick out a few numbers. As soon as we started running we realised that this was not going to be a normal run. The snow had covered the whole paths and as we ran on it we compacted it to ice. There were a few slips in the first mile.

After about 5 minutes we realised that it was 2009 and wished each other a happy new year. Zurich bring in the new year an hour ahead of the UK. I thought about people at their parties right now and wondered if I'd prefer to be doing the same.

The marathon route was fairly basic. It is a 3 lap course that follows the river along tarmac path. At least I thought it was tarmac, it was covered in ice so you could not really tell. We went under bridges which almost caused people to slip in the river. There was a point where you could almost slip into a fire.

Though the route was fairly uninspiring it was quite cool running through little camps with fires and warm energy drink. I never thought that I could stomach warm energy drink but it really hit the spot.

After an hour we said happy new year again as it was that time in the UK. Soon after that is rained and we really felt the cold. It also made the ice slippier and much harder to run on. It seemed that even though we were putting in the same effort the pace just slowed. There was a spell when it rained and it got very cold. It was short lived.

After seeing the same bridges, the same cabin parties and nightclubs 3 times each we approached the end. It was a welcome sight as our bodies were getting cold and legs starting to freeze.

We ran round together and were going to finish together and get a good photo as we crossed the line. We stayed together and cross together however when the chips recorded the times they recorded mine as being 0.2 seconds ahead of Ben. I honestly didn't stick my leg out :) The photo proves it.

Getting into the warm was something we looked forward to for nearly 4 hours. Our time of 3.38 was very respectable and 15th overall. The winner got 2.55. I think someone who was used to running on ice would not have deviated too far from their normal marathon time here. We struggled a bit.

We all entered coughing fits as soon as we got into the warm. We were not too sure how to get back home and had no desire to stay up and drink. We got a cab back to the hotel and managed half a beer before going for breakfast at 6 and then collapsing in bed.

I'm really glad I did this. It makes a change from 3 disappointing New Years in London. Probably won't do it again any time soon but perhaps it may be worth organising one in the UK? I know a few people who'd be up for that...

More trite from the BBC

Just saw this on the BBC that debunks common "myths" about health. Most of it seems fine however I do believe that there is a cure for a hangover and it is as simple as running a marathon.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/7789302.stm

Though this is probably never going to make it as a mainstream cure it has always worked for me. I've probably run about 6 marathons with some sort of sore head and by the end of them I have always felt fine.

On a more serious note I've just been made aware that Simon Singh is being sued by the British Chiropractic Association for writing an article where he suggests that there is no evidence that Chiropody helps cure things like depression, ear infections and betwetting.

http://www.quackometer.net/blog/2008/11/chiropractic-folly-and-nature-of.html

Perhaps the BBC should target this type of pseudoscience? It is easy to spot whether something is likely to be scientific fact or a load of bollocks by the reactions of those who practice it. If you were to dispute the theory of evolution or plate techtonics you would be met with a sea of scientific evidence that would argue that you are wrong. You have the freedom to accept or reject any of this.

If however you were to dispute the claims made by chiropractitioners or scientologists you will not be rebuked with the same sea of evidence and facts but instead you'll be intimidated by lawyers and legal action.

Hastings Marathon

I was woken up to the sound of Mark Braley telling me it was time to get ready. I didn’t know what I needed to get ready for nor did I know where I was. I nevertheless staggered out of the strange bed and seemed to know where the bathroom was to get a much needed glass of water. I then started to pick things off the floor that I seemed to throw around the place the night before.

It was 5.45 in the morning. We didn’t get back until 2am (less than 4 hours ago) and I do not remember this. We had about half an hour to get ready before leaving the house and walking to Ians where Oli would then drive us to Hastings.

Along the mile or so walk I was sick twice. I was still staggering like I was drunk and it felt hard to even stay awake while walking. I was looking for an excuse not to run and we nearly got one when Oli hadn’t arrived by 6.30. However he did and I again missed out on an opportunity to not run.

I didn’t feel any better on the journey down. My eyes were red and my stomach felt rough. I was trying to piece together details of what happened last night. I recall entering the party and saying there is no way I’ll be in this car right now. Somehow peer pressure and about 8 pints of Guinness changed my mind.

I don’t think it is a good idea to run a marathon with a severe hangover, however I don’t like to compromise my social life because of the running and vice versa. I didn’t expect to feel this rough but I knew (almost certainly) that I’ll feel better once I am running. The past month has been fairly hectic with parties and I didn’t want to miss any of them just because I had a marathon. There are plenty of other races.

Since I was not going for a fast time I took my santa suit and intended to run in that. I didn’t have the beard and was intending to get one before the start but that didn’t happen. When I put the suit on my friends warned me that I looked like a sex offender with the hungover face, stubble and dodgy santa suit. Fair point I think. I took it off and had to borrow a top from Mark which was very snug.

I’d also forgotten to bring proper trainers too, I ended up running in some Inov8 fell shoes.

In the usual melee at the start Ian and Oli mentioned that they were going to hang around until 4 hours were on the clock and then return to the car. I was fine with this until I realised that I had no idea where the car was parked. 4 hours might be a challenge here as I was still feeling pretty bad. I had no watch either so wasn’t sure how I’d know whether I’d be going fast enough.

The first 4 miles were very difficult, partially due to their hillyness but mainly to my drunkenness. I have no idea at what pace I crawled up these hills but I was getting overtaken constantly, even though I started in the 4 hour pen.

I had not drank much water or had much to eat in the morning and had no apparent thirst. I knew I had to overcome this as I might not finish if I didn’t drink enough. There were Lucozade stops every 5 miles with bottles and I took them at each and forced some fluid down me.

I asked another runner (they were still overtaking me constantly) at the 7 mile marker what the time was and he said 1.01. I felt a bit better as this was inside 4 hour pace and I would not have to wander around Hastings shivering to find a car park. I thought a lot about what I’ll do if everyone abandoned me at the end. I had no phone or anyone’s number. I’d started to wish I’d filled in all that stuff you are supposed to inside your running number.

I felt much better and got to 10 in 1.27, well inside 4 hour pace again and I was running much better. I had run off the hangover and then thought it was only a matter of time before the 50 miles from yesterday would rear it’s ugly head. (It was an ugly 50 miles).

After about 15 miles I was overtaken by a Serpie called Claire. I chatted to her for a little bit and she said that she would be happy with under 4.30. I hoped she was joking as I was needing 4 hours to get a lift back and she flew past me.

The course remained hilly but the worst of it was in the first few miles. It was nice to have hills to attack on a regular basis as well as some gentle downhills to run fast on. After 16 or so miles I was amazed by how painless it felt and the only injuries I appeared to be carrying were cuts on both heels from the new shoes I wore at the party.

At 21 miles the course goes onto the promenade where is stays flat. I got to 20 in about 3 hours and thought I’d give it a bit more on the home straight. For the first time in the race I was constantly overtaking others and could see for miles ahead. I overtook a couple of Serpies in quick succession. I thought I might be the last one to finish today but that was no longer going to happen.

The finish was comfortable and in 3.47. Ian and Alan had both broken 3, Oli just over and Mark had an eventful race where he had to stop in someone’s house to use their facilities. At least I didn’t need to do that.

A truly fantastic weekend was finished off with a trip to Subway. It doesn’t get any better than this. A big long run, a piss up, a nice comfortable marathon and then Subway. Leicester City won too. I definitely want more of these weekends next year.

Round Rotherham 50 - The Return

If you do one 50 miler in your life, do a different one, this is grim. Timed to take place on one of the shortest days of the year with freezing cold temperatures and atrocious rain this is the running equivalent to Chinese water torture. The scenery around Rotherham is not the most scenic to say the least, a sewage plant and a ruined abbey represent 2 of the highlights. Not that it mattered much as we had to keep our head down to prevent slipping in the deep mud.

This race is however one of the most popular ultras in the UK, if not the most popular now that the Thames Meander is no more. Well over 200 people started this race. I had no choice but to do so this year as I had unfinished business.

Last year I started this race and it was to be my first 50 miler. I got food poisoning 3 days before and could not eat or hold anything down. A photo was taken before the race in which I looked like Millhouse from the Simpsons. I put in a brave effort but dropped out at checkpoint 2 (17 miles) as I was unable to run for more than a minute at a time. I vowed to come back and make amends and that I was I was doing.

We arrived (Ian, Oli, Jo) on the Friday night and just as we arrived in the sportshall where we were sleeping it started to piss it down. I did not get much sleep as I listened to the rain pounding the roof and knowing that it was softening the ground of the course and making the run a lot more difficult.

The morning was quite relaxed, I woke up just after the walkers set off at 6 and commenced my usual faffing routine. At five to 7 we all stepped outside and braved the cold. We were expecting zero degrees with a minus 3 wind-chill later on today. Right now it was a mild 4 degrees.

I don’t normally worry about the weather or terrain before a race as it adds to the surprise, however my motivations for doing this were different to normal, and so were the time pressures. I turned up only because I didn’t finish last year and had to finish in a swift time as I needed to get a train back to London and go to the Serpentine Christmas party. Ian, Oli and Jamie agreed that we should “jog” round in about 8.30 hours.

At 7am it is dark and you have to start off wearing a light. We ran over a few miles of roads, past a Morrisons and then onto some trail with a few hills. The 100 walkers who had already trodden the path had churned it up nicely for us. It was quite hard going getting up some of the slopes but we were still doing a comfortable pace, well inside target. I was going to make it to the party.

Checkpoint 1 – 1.30 ish – 10.8 miles.

We were held up at the checkpoint briefly while Oli had his blood taken as part of some experiment he was taking part in. I ate some of the biscuits and ran on. The route changed to some canal towpaths and then across a few roads into a sewage plant. Rob had mentioned this from last year but I did not remember it because I was feeling like a sewage plant at that time anyway. I remembered some of the parts I had time to dwell on last year, such as the blind corner that everyone nearly gets run over on and a DHL depot. Every step felt better than last year.

I was not really contributing to the map reading (again) and we ended up taking the same wrong turn as I did last year. It was not a major detour but made me get my instructions out just to be safe (or to give that illusion). This section contained a lot of runnable roads but it also contained the first of many ploughed fields that were really hard to run or even walk over. The rain continued and it seemed that whatever the effort there was no way of keeping warm.

The second checkpoint was near a town called Treeton and was just on the other side of a railway bridge. This was the point where I dropped out last year and had to walk into the town and find a newsagent to then get a taxi from. This time last year it also started raining which was to make it very difficult for those still in the race.

Checkpoint 2 – 17 miles – 2.50 (not that much quicker than last year)

Everyone started to comment about how dreary the course was. Well, not everyone, just those from the south. Whenever I told people that I’d come up from London to run this they seemed very surprised. Not that we weren’t welcome, quite the opposite. I think they assumed that Londoners only ever run flat road 5k races where there are emergency umbrellas on stand-by in case there is some unexpected drizzle that is likely to make ones hair go frizzy. I think there is a lot of justification to that preconception. The way the London based BBC blew the OMM race out of all proportion certainly adds weight to the argument that people who live in London are soft. People running? On a mountain? In the rain? Surely that’s like a death sentence?

It was hardly Davos. The rain made it hard to appreciate the beauty of abandoned canals and industrial estates. The difficulty of the race and the really slow pace we were running made everyone look for reasons to hate it. I was determined to finish, and if I didn’t it wouldn’t be because the course was not pretty enough.

The next checkpoint was halfway and just before there were the first of the really heavy ploughed fields that could barely be run across. We laughed a fortnight ago as Rob took us over some mud that we didn’t need to in the Gatcliff. I assumed at first when I saw this muddy mess that there must be another way around it, alas no. This was also the first time I noticed a relay runner overtake us, he seemed to slide across the mud at only a slightly quicker pace than us. We climbed up another muddy hill and then checked in at the first of the indoor checkpoints.

Checkpoint 3 – 4.10 – 25 miles.

I was pleased that we were halfway in slightly less than target time. We hoped that the mud we experienced the last few miles would not be repeated too much.

Indoor checkpoints are dangerous. They are like Sirens, calling you in with their beautiful aroma of tuna sandwiches and chicken soup. On a cold day like this the warm indoors feels so good that leaving is really hard. Sitting down could end your race. We limited our stay to 5 minutes as we wanted to keep the pace (?) up and didn’t want to get cold.

It was only 5 miles to the next checkpoint, easy we thought. What followed was some of the muddiest mud I have ever had to scramble across. Running (wading) across terrain like this is really difficult for a number of reasons. It is hard and takes a lot of energy but I think the hardest part is how you mentally deal with putting in so much effort and covering such little distance. This section blew any chance that I would make the 16.18 train as our pace fell well below what we needed. Times like this when you are travelling so slowly you have nothing else to think about other than how slow you are going. You start to perform the calculations in your head that tell you that you will finish in the dark and have hours and hours to go. This is hard to deal with.

After miles of mud we got to the checkpoint about an hour later. 5 miles an hour was not going to see me back at the Kensington Hilton for the meal that I paid £38 for. I thought if it improved I could at least make dessert. That would be the most expensive ice-cream I’d ever had.

Checkpoint 4 – 30 miles – 5.15

Ian and Oli were not enjoying the race. They had said so several times in the last stretch and suggested they were going to drop out at the next checkpoint. I think it was much more my kind of run than theirs. Though our paths cross at many events we are all different runners. This was doing nothing for someone who intends on running road races faster or Ironmans. It was however of great benefit to myself who intends on running 260 miles in one go next year.

I try to remind myself when I am doing a long run that I enjoy running 95% of the time and then 5% of the time I might ask myself what am I doing? I think about the 95% whenever I am suffering the 5. There are times when this 5 gets stretched out into a longer slog and you run the risk of not seeing what the point of it all is.

Forgetting the point is what pulls people out of races. When you can’t see the point in finishing it is easy to drop out. The longer this feeling goes on for the more likely it is to happen. I had a 5 hour spell in the GUCR which was the hardest period of running in my life. I pulled through and am still enjoying the rewards of finishing that race.

I would say that I didn’t really enjoy any of the race so far but this was part of the test. I know that during the Thames Ring I would have to endure prolonged periods where I’d be running at a snails pace and wondering what the point of it all is. This is good practice for those moments. For this reason I continued after checkpoint 4 when Oli and Ian went home.

The checkpoint was filled with cold runners trying to warm up. About 20 entered a small building and were eating soup and sandwiches (and aniseed balls?) and contemplating going on, or not. One of the marshals asked for a show of hands for those who wanted to drop out and return to the start. There were 12 hands.

I carried on and did so with Drew who I seem to bump into every weekend nowadays. I was glad to have him to run with as this wasn’t much fun on my own. After the longest stop yet we stepped outside into the cold and were blown away by the temperature. I had never been so cold in a race.

Drew and I continued over more muddy fields and my time expectations were revised again. Doing this is under 10 hours would be a good outcome, then I’d get a later train to London and only be there for the drinks. The thought of missing my meal did not compare to quitting this race. I wanted to get this done so I didn’t have to come here again.

The terrain improved slightly and there were actually some sights to take our mind of the ordeal. There was a nice forest and a hideous lake. We were getting passed by more relay runners, one of whom ran past with steamed up glasses and complained that he could see “cock all”. Must be a northern thing,

I was getting quite confident about the map reading and was able to direct us most of the way without getting lost or having to hang about too much.

Checkpoint 5 – 35 miles – 6.30

This was the last of the indoor checkpoints and hence the last of the big temptations to stop. We made it out fine and the route got a little easier. In fact there was the first bit of nice scenery after 40 miles. There were the ruins of an abbey. We ran through them and commented that this was the first “picture” moment we had in the race so far.

This quickly turned back into wasteland and mud. The next checkpoint was a tent on a road where there were chocolate fingers.

Checkpoint 6 – 41 miles – 7.40 ish

We asked at the checkpoint what the winning time was. We were told that it had not been won yet. Last year Matt Giles ran this in 6.30. We could not believe anyone could get over that mud in such a quick time and it was comforting to know that this was not the case this year. The winning time was about 7.30 this year, an hour behind last.

The 6 miles to the next checkpoint seemed to take a long time. There was more of the muddy fields but more relay runners to follow. It was helpful to have people in bright yellow to follow. My energy was being used in trying to keep warm and move forward, there was not much left for thinking about instructions.

The last checkpoint is only 3 miles from the end. It may seem strange but was a real lift knowing that you didn’t have too far to go when leaving the last checkpoint. I was starting to see the end of the day, I saw the end of daylight at least. This is the first time I’d ever run through sunrise then sunset, I’ve only done it the other way round.

Checkpoint 7 – 47 miles – 9.20 ish

A few others doing the full 50 had caught us by now and we were kind of running together. I had to put on the headtorch to finish and was informed at the checkpoint that the rest was on road. This was not the case, there was canal towpath which would have been hard in the dark.

The navigation was a bit tricky winding through streets and steps. There was a point where the map mentioned an “illuminated cycle path”. There was a path with some lamp posts on but they were not lit. I assumed that the instructions were aspiration in this sense and carried on. I saw the sports hall and went for it.

Finish – 50 miles – 9.54

It was nearly 5pm. There was no chance I was getting the 5.18 train so decided to get the 6.18 instead which meant I could enjoy a nice shower and food. I’d been thinking about the shower for hours and was glad that I didn’t have to rush it. I changed into my dinner jacket and aroused confusion among the others who were putting on tracksuits.

Today was a test unlike any I have had before. I know I can run 50 miles comfortably. This was not a test of running or endurance but of pushing myself through misery. The route around Rotherham is as uninspiring as you are ever likely to get, which means you have to be prepared to find other ways of getting through it.

On the train home I felt terrible. I tried to sleep but would be woken by bouts of shivering or sweating. Breathing in icy cold air for 10 hours and made an impact on my lungs. I was coughing a lot.

The trains ran fine and I got to the party at about 9.15. When I arrived I was barely able to speak when I ordered a pint of Guinness from the bar. I went to sit with Mark and Rob and let them know that I never need to return to Rotherham again.

This was before I even started drinking

At this point I also decided that I would not run Hastings tomorrow. My lungs were so full of fluid I thought it would be bad for my health, so I was determined to forget all about it and get pissed instead.

While enjoying my second pint of Guinness and feeling a bit better John Cullinane was announcing the winners of various prizes. While doing so he decided (prompted my Mark) to announce to everyone that I’d just run 50 miles and that I was going to run the Hastings Marathon tomorrow. I had no choice now, I had to.

I decided to try and put it out of my mind and get really pissed instead. And pissed I did get....

Santa Run

Normally wearing red makes me distictive in a crowd of runners, should anyone bother to be there to cheer for me. Today I was to be annonymous as the other 2000 Santas that spewed around battersea park.

Though I thought it would be impossible to find anyone I did quickly bump into Simon and Ian (always wearing a headband) and was really impressed with my own facial recognition ability.

The Santa suits were one size fits all and so had to accomodate for the largest potential runner. The waist of the trousers was at least 60 inches, my trousers were going to fall down in a busy park on a saturday morning.

It was quite difficult running while breathing in fluff. I didn't manage to keep the early promise of shouting "HO HO HO" all the way round. Ben obviously went for it from the start and was quickly out of view, Ian and Simon followed. I felt no need to be competitve in a Santa race or indeed any race nowadays.

I was a pedestrian 2 laps and I was amazed to be lapping people after 3k. They must have travelled 0.2 kilometers in 12 minutes. The best part was seeing a guy almost cry as he realised that he lost his timing chip and was running back and forth to try and find it. History will never recall him as having run the Santa race, his life would effectively be ruined.

All I really recall from the race was trying to spot Katie (who had the great idea of wearing a red coat so she was easy to spot) who was taking pictures. I didn't see her at all. I finished in 25.36 and was 35th place which suprised me as I thought there were 100's ahead. We later were refused entry to Harrods in Santa suits which was a shame. Surely they would do no business if it were for the person I was dressed as.

I almost forgot

About this. It looks nice.

Pyrrhic Victory

The past few weeks I've been getting all excited again about the canal. It is a very different feeling from last time, this is more expectation than anticipation. I don't for a second believe that it will be any easier next time round but I do feel I'll be better prepared for it. Still, with these races anything can happen.

I put the Thames Ring out of my mind for 2 reasons. One I thought it would be silly to attempt to run 260 miles at this stage of my life as it could finish me and two I didn't think it would actually happen. It most certainly is happening and DK has 59 "interested".

So the first reason should make it a no go anyway. The problem is that I will feel rotten knowing that this is going ahead and I am not there. It starts on a wednesday and could not imagine being at work and knowing some people are out there doing this. Entering this race will probably cause harm, not entering surely will. I have a lot to lose even if victorious, I have more to lose if I stay at home.

That it how it feels at the moment anyway.

The Thames Ring Comes Back

Not that it has ever existed. But here are the details..

THAMES RING RACE 260

This project has momentum. We are close to the point where will ask potential runners for commitment. Entry forms and a first draft of the rules are being drawn up. The rules will provide an indication of what you are in for.

59 people have expressed interest in the race so far. We have decided that we should limit the entry to 100. Past experience of ultras suggests that we would then have no more than 75 starters on the day. A prompt entry is therefore advisable for those who want to be sure of participating. Anyone who decides to withdraw will get their entry fee back (less £15) provided we are notified of the withdrawal no later than 31^st May 2009. Anyone withdrawing after that date will forfeit their entry fee. If that seems hard, please remember that the TRA will be incurring substantial expense on this race and it will not be able to obtain a refund of that expenditure.

We have secured the Morrell Rooms in Streatley which are situated on the Thames Path itself. This is the venue for both the start and finish of the race. The booking extends from early on Wednesday, 24^th June, to Sunday afternoon, 28^th June. Precise times have not been set but, as you will realise, runners cannot be accommodated in the Morrell Rooms on the night before the race. If you cannot travel from home on the day, you will need to arrange your own accommodation in the vicinity. The start time remains fixed at 10 am. That gives time for a good night’s sleep and breakfast beforehand.

We have not decided yet where the Check Points will be. However, a preliminary attempt has been made to calculate approximate locations and likely cut off times (see table below). The cut offs will apply to departure times from each CP, not arrival times. The table set out below assumes a time of 100 hours which remains the overall time limit. It is also assumed that the pace throughout will be relatively steady although it is likely to be faster in the early stages and slower later on, particularly when you factor in sleeping time. The distances are approximate so don’t assume that an extra 5 miles has been added to the total!

LEG	Leg dist	Leg time	Tot dist	Tot time	CP closes
Streatley – Marlow CP1	27	8	27	8	18:00 Wed
Marlow – Chertsey CP2	25	8	52	16	02:00 Thu
Chertsey – Brentford CP3	26	9	78	25	11:00 Thu
Brentford - Kings Langley CP4	26	9	104	34	20:00 Thu
Kings Langley – Soulbury 3 Locks CP5	25	9	129	43	05:00 Fri
Soulbury – Stoke Bruerne CP6	26	10	155	53	15:00 Fri
Stoke Bruerne – Braunston CP7	27	11	182	64	02:00 Sat
Braunston – Banbury CP8	27	11	209	75	13:00 Sat
Banbury – Oxford CP9	27	12	236	87	01:00 Sun
Oxford – Streatley Finish	29	13	265	100	14;00 Sun

Sleeping arrangements are a headache. No provision for sleeping will be made at CP1 and probably not at CP2 either. This does not mean that sleeping is forbidden (provided one keeps ahead of the cut offs). We expect to provide tents for sleeping from and including CP3. However, runners will be expected to bring their own sleeping bag (and a bed mat if required). This will be taken ahead in the runner’s baggage which will be produced for the runner at each CP. Baggage is limited to two bags per runner.

Doubtless this update will provoke a volley of questions. May we request that you store these up until you receive the entry form and rules as the rules may answer at least some of your questions. That would make our life a bit easier.

Finally, the race can only take place if we have enough helpers. We expect a spread of as much as 40 hours between the two ends of the field by the time that the first runner finishes. That means we need a lot of people to look after the runners through this unprecedented test. Offers of help should be sent to either Dick dickjan@talk21.com and Anthony a.j.taylor@talktalk.net

Dick Kearn and Anthony Taylor 26.10.08

Thames Meander RIP

I got a sad email today that another one of the great UK ultras has gone extinct. The organisers of the Thames Meander have announced that this event has become to big to be run as a family event and are calling it a day.

The Thames Meander was the best of the river races on offer. It took a 54 mile route along the river from Reading to Walton-on-Thames via Henley, Marlow, Maidenhead, Windsor, Staines and Shepperton. It was originally set up as an opportunity for those headed off to the Marathon Des Sables 6 weeks later to get a long run done. 10 years on it remained the number one event for those going to the Sahara. It was a simple but very well organised race and will be missed by myself and at least 200 others in the UK.

It seems paradoxical that the demand for ultra marathons and extreme events are rising yet some of the superior and more established events seem to disappear. The explaination I think is quite simple.

There are broadly 2 ways a race comes into existence in the UK (and perhaps abroad)

• A small group of individuals or a club who organise 1 or 2 events per year in a particular area
• A small company who have a portfolio of events throughout the year

There are many examples of the first type such as London to Brighton (gone), Thames Meander (gone), Grand Union Canal Run (still here), Dartmoor Discovery (still here) that exist purely because of the enthusiasm of a few individuals who really want to see an event happen. There is usually some history behind each one (Dartmoor was born out of someone going out on a long training run and getting lost, GUCR was Dick Kearn just seeing if it was possible to run the whole canal in one go, the Thames Meander was an effort to give the British MDS competitors something to train with).

The second type of events are again run by enthusiasts however it is by individuals who intend to make a living out of it. This is great as it means there is more stuff to do in the UK and they are usually very well organised. The portfolio of events that each company has tends to keep a few dozen employees in a job that they really enjoy and brings great races to the likes of me who are willing to pay for the privilege of doing them.

I do believe there is a difference in atmosphere between these two types of events but do not believe this is driven by how commercial they are. I've run good and bad events of both types and have my favourites like everyone else does. The key difference here is how each of them handles their own success.

For any commercial event company (or indeed business) it is simple economics 101, supply and demand. If their events become oversubscribed they just make them bigger or put more on. For example the incredibly enjoyable endurancelife series of 5 coastal marathons last year has now become 7 marathons. This may involve employing more people or those organising doing a few hours less of their other jobs. Companies have the benefit of scalability.

On the other hand take a group of people who are arranging one event purely for the love of it. They tend to be employed in some other area and once a year organise an event purely for the love of it. They will charge a fee which would just about cover the monetary cost of putting it on but probably not their time. This is not so much a job for them, it is a hobby.

The problem here is that the enthusaism of a few individuals is not scaleable as with a company and when the event becomes really successful it can have a real impact on peoples time. There is not the option to just put on another event or to make it bigger. I suspect that the reason that the Thames Meander was ended was because the enquiries and admin involved in admitting 200 runners (and maybe rejecting 200 more) was too much work for a small group of people and hence it is no more. I also suspect that getting permissions to run events, the prevailance of health and saftey Nazis and possible litigation by unhappy runners has just added to the burden of putting a race on like this. A company could just employ people to do this whereas a family couldn't.

I am sad that the Meander is gone as it was the best event of it's kind. I am also worried by the trend and hope that the GUCR and Dartmoor are not next in line. I'm sure that as long as there is a market for river and canal runs there will be an organisation willing to do it. This is fine, but I'll miss the days when I was running a race that was someones "baby" rather than a catalogue item.

When I grow up I want to have a baby. From the source to the estuary of the Thames is 180 miles. That is a fat one.

I didn't look that bad..

I've just stumbled on this website while browsing through a huge number of posts for the GUCR 2009 on the runners world forum. It is from the TV company that were documenting the race. The photo of me with the headtorch was taken at Tring at 99 miles. I look quite good there (if I do say so myself) and was quite suprised to see it as I recalled feeling crap.

http://www.145film.com/home.htm

That was before my confusion as to where the 100 mile point was. I thought that was it but I was to later discover that it was a further mile down the canal. It was such a trivial thing but it sent me on a downward spiral that threatened to end my race.

I don't recall any photos or videos being taken at the 120 mile point but if there were they would make for an interesting comparison. Like those "before and after" photos you get of people addicted to heroin, you could have 2 photos and say "this is what running in the night through Hemel and Watford do to an otherwise healthy male".

Next time I'll remember, Tring is 99 miles. I'll write it down on my hand.

Getting beaten by girls

This does not normally bother me, except yesterday this happened in a Men's race.

The Met League (I think, I can't be arsed understanding what all the different leagues are) cross country race was at Wormwood Scrubs this week. Since it is only a few miles from where I live, starts at 2pm and has the promise of a good pub afterwards I thought it would be rude not to.

I love the start of short races as I get to see stuff I never normally see, such as people warming up by dancing all over the place. It had rained for most of the day up until 2 when the ladies race started, the men were due to start at 2.30

The course was 2 flat laps of wormwood scrubs. It was not too muddy but I hear spikes would have been useful. These races are very competitive and attrack the best short distance runners from the region. I think the highest serpie ranked 19th which gives an idea of how good everyone here is.

I hate running fast, it's uncomfortable. I think I did a fairly even pace and sped up a bit towards the end. My entire race was distracted by a girl running just behind me. I thought she may be just out on a jog but she was behind me all the time. Then towards the end she did run alongside me and confirm that she was in the race as she missed the start of the girls race. She actually said that she does races like this to pick up men. I couldn't tell whether she was hot or not as she flew past me and dissappeared. She looked quite nice from behind.And so I'll have to live the rest of my life knowing that I can't even rely on men's races to avoid getting beaten by girls.

I tried later to drink it off my mind but it didn't work. It just made me walk all funny instead.

Don't run with animals

Animals don't like me, none of them. I have a running history of animals attacking me and if I was in the US I'd surely be suffering as this lady did.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/7712306.stm

Not sure what it is that makes animals turn on me, they may smell the fear. Here is a brief list of the ones I've encountered.

Cows

Running the Dartmoor Discovery where there are wild cows on the moors. Some of them spilled onto the road where I was running and I thought nothing of just running past them, cows don't attack people to they? Well actually they do and one of them just ran at me from the other side of the road.

I was torn between jumping over a nearby wall or just running faster. I chose the latter and then in a panic asked myself a question that I had never asked myself before "How fast can a cow run?" The answer is quite fast but it didn't matter as it broke off it's pursuit.

I spent the rest of the race (and my life) in fear of running through fields of cows.

Squirrels

Harmless and cute aren't they. Well no not really. I have heard stories about some of the really urban squirrels attacking people for food and even cigarettes. I don't smoke when I run so have no problems there but they do gather round me when I run through a local park.

What do you do when a squirrel chases after you? Can I turn around and kick it in the face or should I just move on and feel slightly embarrassed that I am running away from an animal the size of an small meal? I just fear how good and climbing those things are. I know that if I stop then one of them will climb right up my body onto my shoulder ready to claw my face off.

Geese

I truely hate them. The closer they live to humans the more cocky they are and the less likely they are to get out of your way. I've been wary of Geese ever since my first week working for the postal service where I went on a round with a postie for a day. I asked what must be asked of him all the time "how often do you get bitten by a dog?" He replied not often and it's the geese you need to be careful of. Their beaks are armour piercing.

With this in mind I have been fearfl ever since and avoid them in Hyde park and wherever they appear. However towards the end of the GUCR I could not avoid them. They were sat on the bank of the canal and refusing to move and they had adolescents with them. For some reason they were quite protective of their young and just sat there hissing like snakes. I ran right out of their way as I was in no condition to fight back.

Snakes

Not had any problems with the 2 snakes I have encountered so far (one in Canada, one in Leamington Spa) but they can be startling to see. Rattlesnakes are not usually fatal and get quite a bad press about being dangerous.

Chavs

It can be difficult to understand the gruntings of those who wear 3 types of headwear simultaneously as you run past them. I often pick out the words "run" and "forest" but not much else. They normally hang around in packs of 4/5 and near off licences and JJB sports. They are nearly always in populated areas so it's safe. If you are feeling brave you could shout something back. If they ask you why you are running just reply with something like "to stay fit, cos your Mum goes like a train since Daddy went inside".

Ones to look forward to

Scorpions

The MdS will have these. Apparently thay are the only animal other than us that can kill itself deliberately. I'll be sure to check my shoes before slipping my foot in them. I imagine getting trapped in my shoe would drive any animal to suicide

Dogs

I have encountered dogs already on various river/canal runs. Some of them are just a bit too friendly when I am not feeling the same. It's all fairly harmless.

However I have read race reports from the Spartathlon that wild dog attacks are to be expected. Not to sure what to do about that, take a baton? Or some meat?

Lions

I'd like to run a race where this might be a risk, but I can't find one.

Where the silliness started

This weekend is the Athens Marathon. I'm not running it, it's not a great race in my opinion but I'll never forget some of the people I spoke to on the way.

I was doing this as a training run for the Tring2Town, my first ultra and 45 miles long. This race was 3 weeks after I ran a marathon pb of 3.12. I still felt it in my legs a bit.

The route runs from Marathon to Athens which is now a motorway. It finishes in the Parthanon stadium and is reasonably hilly. That is all there is to say about the course except that the organisers managed to get the route to loop onto itself, nearly taking out the lead runners.

Before the start I spoke to an American who said that this was his 50th and last marathon. I felt sad that he seemed do determined to call it a day but at the same time I was amazed at the thought of running 50 marathons. Athens was my 8th and I knew that some day I'd hit 50. That didn't sound too silly.

I started right at the back of the few thousand runners as I wanted to start this off slowly. I then got chatting to a couple of guys from the 100 marathon club. I had no idea that this club existed but the name descibed quite simply what was involved. 100 marathons? That did seem a bit crazy. He then went on to tell me that he had done 40 that year and was doing them every week. A marathon every week? That was silly.

After a few miles of the race I was still feeling good and I caught up with some guys dressed in togas and carrying the British flag. I chatted to them and they revealed that they were training for the "Spartathon". What's that? I asked and they gladly explained that it was a 153 mile non-stop run from Athens to Sparta. Again I had no idea such things existed and dismissed it as really really silly.

Towards the end of the race I was feeling quite pleased with myself. I was still running strong and this was despite running a marathon only 3 weeks ago. I then caught up with a chap from Sutton Runners who must have been over 60. He was also looking quite strong and then he mentioned that the weekend before he had done "the triple", ie the 3 marathons of Snowdon, Beachy Head and Dublin in 3 days. I suddenly didn't feel so special about my running when I'd done 1 marathon 3 weeks ago when this guy had done 3 marathons 1 week ago. That was just ludacrous.

So despite it not being a very good marathon I had 4 encounters that were both humbling but awe inspiring. My own sense of achievement in marathon running was dwarved by the efforts of these people I met along the way. I am not sure as to whether I immediately wanted to follow them. At the time all I wanted to do was finish the marathon I was running. Marathons were a big deal back then.

Now, 2 years on

• I have reached 50 marathons
• I have pretty much run them weekly this year
• I have run 145 miles non-stop
• I have run "the triple" plus 2 other triples (and a Quintuple)

It is great to think back to times where you thought that what you are doing now is impossible. It makes you feel good about now. I often chat now in races and have the same conversations as I did in Athens, only now I'm the one talking silly. It is really great to hold peoples attention by explaining the running that I now do. I don't mean to be patronising at all when I say "you were much like I was 2 years ago". It can be strange when you are giving the "when I were a lad" speech to someone much older than you.

It seems like so much longer than 2 years. It just goes to show how far you can go in a short space of time. I wonder when I'll next meet a runner who tells me he's done something that I find silly?

GUCR Excitement - Part 1/23784

After a great deal of anticipation and looking on the website constantly the application forms finally came out for next year's race. Dick sent the forms by Email on Friday and he had a full postbag by Saturday and had to declare the race full on Monday. It's just like Glastonbury.

Fortunately I was one of those who got his application in straight away and though nothing is confirmed yet I still feel hugely excited about doing this again. It is a much different feeling from this time last year when this was a complete unknown. Last year it was very nervous anticipation, now it is just excitement. I'm certain that by the time the race comes I'll be back to nervous again, I hope so at least.

I am trying to pull together something that describes how I approached this race last year as well as forwarding my race report on to anyone who can read. I've got some great feedback on it including some from Dick Kearn. I'm hoping it may help some others who are doing it for the first time as others did for me.

I am also quite excited for Nick who I managed to convince to do this. He is the type of person who has the motivation to do this as would get so much out of finishing and look forward to watching him over the next 6 months.

I got over excited and started a facebook group which is snowballing in members. It already has nearly as many as the 2008 group got in total. It's also great to see some familiar faces doing it again next year.

I can't imagine queueing to get tickets for Glastonbury or standing in a muddy field all weekend drinking warm beer and waiting for some bands to come on. I'd much rather be getting muddy in the dark along a canal with my body broken and mind vacant trying to stumble to Paddington.

Each to their own I suppose.

Dublin Marathon

This was always going to be a really tough one. It was only a few days before this triple did I start to consider the effect of running successive road marathons like this. My legs only slightly stiff in the morning I went into McDonalds for 2 egg and sausage McMuffin meals since it was the only place that was open that time in the morning.

It was really cold which was perfect except for the hanging around at the start that is required for big city marathons. The last time I'd done a big city one was last year in Dublin, I wasn't used to the crowds or constant cheering.

I didn't know what sort of time I was going to do today, I guessed somewhere between 3.30-4.00. I wasn't really bothered to be starting near the back, it would give me a chance to warm up a bit. Making the usual mistake of forgetting something, a theme of this weekend and the whole of my running life generally I had forgotten to bring a watch. Throughout I had no idea what pace I was running and it felt good not to care.

The first mile was how I remembered marathon starts from the days when I just did a couple a year, blocked in and barely jogging for the first few miles. It must have taken 15 minutes to reach the 1 mile marker and that was after the whole crowd stopped within half a mile because of a bottleneck.

The route Dublin takes in nice and uncomplicated. You start in the city centre, run into a park after about 4 miles and come out after 8 and then you run through the crowded streets of Dublin, pass a few castles, nice bridges and walls and then back to the finish in the centre.

Normally when I am on the 2nd/3rd/nth day of of multi-day I expect that the pain in may legs will go away after a few miles. The first few are always slow but then everything fades and I can start running normally again, if a bit slower. The fatigue near the end comes as usual and is often worse than when I was fresh at the start, however I can normally get through just fine.

Dublin started no differently, the first miles hurt then when I was in the park everything felt better. I was still in crowds and keen to run past as many people as possible including a couple of Serpie ladies. The period between 5-10 miles I felt like I had done nothing all weekend and it was great. I was looking forward to the remaining 16 miles.

As soon as I got to 10 miles I felt like I'd been done in with a cricket bat. I was reduced to a slow shuffle with more than half way to go. This was the earliest I'd ever hit the wall.

Rather than let it get to me I took it as an opportunity to experience a marathon like most people do. I just jogged around in the crowd of runners and enjoyed the different selection of comments you get from the spectators. Whenever you are (near) the front of a marathon you don't often get much support and the comments are "you are looking really good" and "keep it going" etc. Now that I was about 10000th in the race I was hearing things like "You can do it" and "you are light as a feather". I definitely was not as light as a feather and I was fully aware that "I could do it".

And so I did, plodding around in 3.51. I was pretty pleased with just getting around and managing to do the last mile much quicker. It made me think of the Spartathlon in which I'm likely to be feeling like that with 100 miles left to run. Good practise for road racing.

Guinness.

Crawley Track Marathon

Races like this lend themselves well to efficient and comprehensive race reporting; 

1. Let L=0
2. Start race
3. Run half a lap
4. Run a whole lap
5. Wave at lap counter
6. L=L+1
7. If L <105 then GOTO 8
8. Finish Race, have shower, catch plane

Simple. However even a race that is nothing more than laps of a 400m track can be very complicated. 

I had no idea what to expect form this race and was quite excited as I hadn’t done anything “new” for a while. I have always thought it was stupid to run around a track for so long until I met John Cooper (who was here) at the Dartmoor Discovery last year and he spoke about the 24 hour races. They are quite unique, how many races do you get to see the leader throughout as well as all those behind you? 

The rain had indeed followed me from Snowdon and the track looked pretty miserable. I registered and was introduced to my lap counter Senny and got given a document of the rules of the track. 

It started as I recall a 1 mile race started earlier in the year. 40 runners settled into a stride and it was clear from the start who were going to be fast and who were not. I hovered in around 6^th place and settled into a pace I thought comfortable. I was running about 7mm and waiting for the heaviness of yesterday to fade. 

It’s only from doing lots of doubles/triples that I know to expect the early pain of the second/third run to fade away. This time it was only a few miles and my legs started to feel normal. They start to hurt again later on as they would if I was just doing a one off. 

I had done less than 10 laps before I got lapped by the leaders, they appeared to be using this as an attempt to get a good time. I couldn’t say whether tracks are ideal for getting a pb, I can’t see why not if you can switch your brain off. 

I met a fellow Fetchie “Joe Hawk” who was struggling with an injury having done Beachy Head yesterday. It was great to talk to him and always good to put a face to a person you have only spoken to online. There were many others here who had also done Beachy Head the day before, I think I was the only one who had done Snowdon. There were a few off to Dublin that afternoon including Joe. 

It was not as mentally tough as I’d thought it would be. I was told to slow down at some stage as I was “missing all the scenery”.  It was quite a mental effort remembering to wave and shout at my lap counter each time and I did forget occasionally or shout and get no response. I tried to count the laps I was doing but only got as far as 7 before giving up. I had my garmin on and it was quite accurate at clocking the 0.25 every time I went through the line. I thought I had it covered. 

Around half way I looked at the 13.25 on my watch and assumed that I had completed half the laps. I asked my lap counter to check at about 13.75 and by the time he counted it was 14 miles and I was told that I’d run 50 laps. I could not believe this as my watch claimed I had done 56 and it did not feel like I was running that slow. I had a bit of a moan and was upset for a while as I tried to figure out who was wrong, the lap counter or my watch. 

I studied the figures closely for a while as my Garmin spat them out and noticed slight discrepancies in what it was recording. I still could not believe that it would overstate what I’d run, if anything it should understate it. After a few more laps and having got much wetter I realised that I was on the brink of becoming the type of runner I didn’t want to be. 

For a while I was living in numbers, checking every 400m like some anal triathlete. The rain and tiredness may have something to do with this diminished state of mind, I think I just wanted to get back into the warm again. I decided not to worry about it anymore and just run around until I was told to stop, like Forrest in those college football games. 

A forgotten friend

After that I started to enjoy the race again and after all that is why I was here. After 18 miles I went for a toilet stop and looked in the mirror to discover that both my nipples had exploded. It was a truely horrible sight, like I'd been shot twice. I'd remembered to put the vaseline on that morning, the problem was that I forgot to do the same before Snowdon and there was no going back.

I returned to the track and someone made a comment. I said I'd only known about them for a few minutes and he'd said they had been like that from very near the start. Those poor people counting laps must have seen then 100 times.

The winner I think was about 4 miles ahead of me, meaning he must have overtaken me at least 16 times. He was doing it much more towards the end. I put on a sprint for my last lap which took about 80 seconds and ran over the line. It felt odd to cross the line at the same time as others and for them to continue running. It also felt odd to hear the the man just behind me (who I lapped at least twice) had less to go than me near the end.

I'm sure I ran more laps than I needed and it bothered me for about 10 minutes during the race but by the end I was relaxed and pleased to have finished this odd event. This was only staged to allow people to complete the "triple" which used to be Beachy Head, Snowdon and Dublin. Snowdon had been moved to saturday making this combination impossible. Crawley was chosen as it was right next to Gatwick airport which was just as well. I didn't realise I would have been pushed for time getting there but I was.

I met Roger Biggs who had just accepted my entry to the 100 marathon club. We spoke a bit and I spoke to Pam Storey too about running, the 4 to go and other stuff and she insisted that I went inside to get warm and sort my nipples out. I also chatted breifly to John Cooper who got me thinking about track races in the first place.

The second most disgusting photo I have of me

I'd love to do a 24 hour race, I just can't fit it in with all the other stuff.

Snowdon Marathon

It certainly is nice for the weather to take an interest in my running. As I write this now I am on a train home from Snowdon where hideous clouds of rain have spent the day and are now heading straight for Crawley. I estimate they will be there for about 10am tomorrow.

The Snowdon Marathon was always going to be hard, it claims it is the toughest road marathon in the UK. What made it much harder was constant heavy rain made horizontal by 60mph winds. 8 Serpies arrived last night and set about the usual stroll down the towns high street to look for somewhere unsuitable to eat. We decided on a pub which advertised a list of people in the area who were barred from all licensed premised in the area. We did not spot any of our own names on the list so went in and enjoyed various methods of pre-race nutrition. Since I was carb loading for 3 days I figured I’d go protein heavy and as there was a beer I hadn’t tried before I thought it would be rude not to.

We stayed in a lodge that was only half a mile from the registration which made for a leisurely morning as the race did not start till 10.30. It also meant I could have a proper fry-up in the morning and drink enough coffee to make the necessary movements.  We set out about 9.30 to make our way to the registration where buses were going to take us 2 miles to the start. All weather reports had predicted miserable conditions but it is only when you get out there that you realise the effect they will have. The line for the bus was long and there was quite a bit gap between them coming so we were stood there for 30 minutes shivering in the rain. Alan, Mark and I decided not to take a bag and so couldn’t take a coat either. We were all suffering as we gathered together with others like penguins in the Antartic. I made the comment that my fatness was an advantage when standing around in the cold like this. When it comes to the running though the advantage is definitely theirs.

I bumped into Justin at the start who I had not seen since the Moose. He looked like he was ready to go camping he had so much stuff. I also saw Nick and his friend who revealed himself as "Cavey" from fetcheveryone. I'd been in contect with Cavey (Matt) online and he is running the Marathon Des Sables next year. I love how the world gets smaller when doing these events.

The first 4 miles were a gradual uphill into  very strong headwind. There was a stage when a sudden gust of wind stopped everyone on the spot. We all laughed at the time and spirits were high although we were all surely thinking about how long this is going to take if we get stopped that much. More than half the runners were wearing rain jackets. They were probably very slightly warmer and drier but blew around like kites.

The next 8 miles were downhill and I really struggled with it. My quads were still burning from a combination of running Leicester quite hard last week and my poor downhill technique. I tried to keep up with Nick but didn't want to hurt myself more. Helen then passed me keen to get this over with as soon as possible. I was in no such rush, despite the wind, rain and cold I was having fun.

The rain stopped for only a few minutes which was long enough for me to notice that one of the water stops had percy pigs. I'd never seen that before. Soon enough the wind and rain were back in my face and I couldn't see anything. It was a shame because the scenery would have been awesome. We were on roads cutting through lots of fairly big mountains and unfortunately most of them were covered in grey fog. I was assuming that Snowdon was the biggest one, the one that we could not even see halfway up.

12-15 miles were uphill again and ran into some small towns with great support. I'm not sure how close the organisers were from cancelling this race as they has done a few years back but they seemed to have everything well covered. There were water stations every 2 miles or so with ambulances everywhere. If something did happen they would have been right on to it. Fortunately there were no major incidents and only a few people really suffered with the cold.

15-20 miles were fairly flat, which would normally feel welcome except that I couldn't seem to run on it. I worried about the next 2 days when my legs felt shot already. Then, to make things worse I got overtaken by a plastic cup. The thought of getting overtaken by an inanimate object infuriated me but the panic was soon over, it got crushed by an oncoming car. If only it could do that for some of the runners.....

20 miles was the hill that I heard many people talk about near the beginning. I still don't look at race profiles before the run as it spoil the fun but you can't help overhearing stuff. It was quite a long grind but I was determined to run the whole thing. Many were walking and then strangely as the hill got steeper I saw that most were running again. Only when I arrived on the last stretch did I realise that people were only running because there was a camera at the top. Those guys are evil, picking the places where you are going to get the worse photos and compelling people to run when they wanted to walk. Good on them.

Snowdon on a nice sunny day. I didn't even see it

On higher ground the wind became really strong again but this time in our favour. There were points where I would get blown up the hill. This was fine uphill but was most unwelcome down. Towards the end there was a really steep downhill section that I had to lean back and hobble down. The finish was back near the registration where armies of medics were jumping on people with foil and making sure everyone stayed warm. I picked up a nice slate coaster which I liked more than a medal. Something different but useful, not that I'll ever put a cup of tea on it. It's far too nice for that.

Obviously you wouldn't normally chose to run in these conditions but doing so give me a great experience for when things go wrong in bigger races. I have never run a race with such bad conditions from start to finish but in doing so I am in a better position to start any other race. There will be times in the future when I'm halfway through some really tough race and the hideous weather will kick in. I'll be able to look back on what I did today and say "remember Snowdon"? I've done this before and I survived.