BINGO - The World's Most Unfair Race - Saturday 25th april 2020
Unlawfully prorogued for 4 years. It’s coming back.
Have you ever felt that life is a little unfair? Some people seem to get handed life's pleasures on a plate when others labour and toil for little reward. Did you take up running as a way to escape is injustice? To be able to claim reward based on the effort you put in? Do you think that the world would be a better place if it was all just like a nice long run?
Well bollocks to that, here is a running event that is steeped in reality more than any other race you have ever done. Basically you might run your balls off, run harder and further than anyone else in the whole field and still get nothing to show for it. At the same time some lousy chumper, probably called Rupert, probably educated at Eton, probably been to a Regatta or two in his time will just waltz through (yes he does ballroom dancing too) and finish with little effort.
Makes you sick doesn't it.
Well, inspired by life I have created "Bingo - The World's most Unfair race"
In a previous edition Dan Connors smashed the Bingo World Record FKT in about 1 hour and 20 minutes. He ran a total of about 11 miles. He got a nice medal and a place in folklore. In the last hours of the race there were 7 runners who had run more than 50 miles each who just picked the wrong balls. They were sent home with nothing.
Like your chances?
Your running number will be a bingo card. It will have 3 numbers on it. You will also have a unique ball bag. You aim is to tick off all your numbers. Easy right?
There is a loop of about 2 miles. You run a loop and then pick a number out of a bag in a Bingo style. If you pick one of your numbers, say 13, then you can cross that off and do another loop. If you pick another number then you just head back out onto another loop and repeat.
You will each have your own unique ball bag and chosen balls are not replaced.
You finish the race when you have all 3 of your numbers crossed off. Easy.
So in theory you could finish this race in 6 miles, if you are the luckiest person in the world.
You could run forever and just never pick your numbers out.
There will be a 12 hour cut off. You could break the 100 mile record and still DNF. That would be hilariously unfair wouldn't it?
Location - Box End Park - Box End Rd, Kempston, Bedford, MK43 8RQ
Date - April 25th 2020
Time - 8am-8pm (provisional)
Provisional what you get for your money - A venue to change/shower in, water and snacks, A organised race, abuse, being part of something experimental (maybe a medal? I have a load in a box somewhere from last time. I might have chucked them out though)
You can enter as teams of up to three to share the misery.
What is the terrain like? - It will be on grassy trail.
What facilities will there be? - Toilets, parking, showers, a place to buy food/coffee. Waterskiing.
Is there a cut off? - Yes 12 hours. It will probably start at 8am. You will need a headtorch if running in the dark
Are there any roads? - No
I want to run with my mate. What if he finishes way before me? - Then he's going to have much longer in the pub and you'll probably have to drive home after your DNF
So if I draw the number 17 I run 17 laps? - NO!!! It's bingo. You just scratch the number off when you get it
Is this race part of an exciting series of silly races you have planned? - Yes. I am hoping this is the "easiest" to organise and so if no one dies here then I might start the ball rolling on some others
When will we be able to sign up? - Very soon
So if I get number 23 I run 23 laps right? - NO!!!!!!!!! You just run one lap and scratch the number off if you have number 23.
Will there be a bingo caller doing the "legs eleven" and "clickity click" and "badgers arse" and all that? - Errrm. Maybe
Will it “count” for anything? - Counting is in the eye of the beholder. But no. It’s pointless.
How many UTMB points will I get? - 1 point for every 50 laps
I don't want to run but I'd love to come and help. Can I? - Sure! Contact me and let me know
So I just pulled out number 31. That means I have to run 31 laps doesn't it? - OH FFS. Yes. Go and run 31 laps. Idiot.
Why Bedford? - Cos that's where I live, however if this works as a concept I intend to do a world tour with the idea