Shakespeare Marathon

For 18 months I've carried the same label as a marathon runner. ie What by fastest time is. It's the number 2 question (behind "isn't it bad for your knees?"). I've always had to quote the 3.12 and then append an explanation that I'm not really going for times anymore, which I'm not. The only time I "attempted" a pb was in Prague and that was a bowel related disaster.

But now and quite randomly I can quote a different number. Less than 24 hours after stumbling across the finish line of one of the hardest races I've ever done I managed to churn our 3.07.55. Obviously I am really pleased, however I'm not that shocked.

I felt ok at the start of the race and was joking with Ian that I should go for a pb today. Didn't want to commit to it but I didn't think it was impossible. The problem with doing races after races is that you are never quite sure what you have left in the tank. You can prepare for a marathon and be fairly sure that you can maintain a certain pace and have enough to get round. However as I'd taken quite a bit out the previous day I knew I had less to go on. It was just a question of whether I had 26 miles left or not.

I started at about 6.55 pace and found that fairly comfortable for 5 miles. Dave Ross strolled past me early on in the race to get his weekly sub 3. I also caught up (and passed to my suprise) Harley Inder after about 4 miles. I set my Garmin to measure average pace and throughout the race I looked only at that (distance and time were not important). I knew that so long as it didn't reach 7.21 I would pb, 7.15 would be 3.10 and 7.10 would beat Ben and Simon's PB's.

Shakespeare was a lovely course and really good pb potential. Most of it is on fairly quiet roads and probably about 7 miles in total on a path which is shaded.  The sun was out and it was warm, warmer than I'd like. The water and bottle distribution was just as good as London. Water every 3 miles (in bottles) and lucozade around every 6. I took drink from every station, I think my drinking was perfect.

I reached half way in 1.31 with the average pace still saying 7.00. At this point I started doing "what pace can I slow down to and still pb" calculations. Basically 7.40 for the rest would see me pb. Any mile I still ran at 7 would be like buying time.

As I passed half way I was informed that I was 51st. I was just behind a lady at this stage so I overtook.  For the next mile all I could year was "YAY - It's the first lady". I didn't tak too much offence. Maybe I should have worn the hideous tights my dad wore.

As the race progressed the average pace crept up slowly. At 20 miles it was on 7.05. My time was 2.22 which was a 20 mile pb. I recall from Ferrari that my time was 2.23 at this stage, however I'd already blown up. The last 6 miles took 50 minutes on that day. I felt so much better now than I did then and the average pace stayed there for 3 miles which meant that I was putting in some fast miles still. All I could now think about was changing "my number". How good it would feel to be able to quote a different personal best every time someone asked me for it. I was not about to let this go. I couldn't even bear to think about how upset I'd be if I'd let this chance go. It came quite accidentally but was long overdue.

I must have overtaken quite a few people on the second lap as I finished 30th in the end. 3.07 and something, the Garmin stops doing seconds after an hour. Ian and Dave were already at the finish stretching, they looked suprised to see me there.

I saw my Dad too which was great.  He ran his first half marathon in 2.03 and was really pleased. I so glad he's got into running and that he's enjoying it. I'll make sure he does a marathon before the end of next year. He'll be fine.

So this adds more fuel to the argument that tapering is a waste of time. Not conclusive sure but certainly makes me feel that pb's are more likely when you treat a marathon as a distance you a comforable completing regularly rather than treating it as a one off effort. 

Bath Beat

Probably the shortest ultramarathon in the world

26.5 miles? Who's idea was that? I guess if someone want to make that psychological leap from marathon running to ultra running then this would be the easiest place to start.

Well actually, no.  The rain poured all day and the route was slippery and fully exploitative of all three dimensions. The stiles and fences were numerous and always inconvenient. This was a typical LDWA event.

The Long Distance Walkers Association (LDWA)  stage a relatively untapped goldmine of great events that runners are usually welcome to take part in. They differ in crowd and atmosphere to most other types of events. A mix of walkers (who usualy set off early) and runners make these events more about the finishing and fun that the racing and clock watching.

Progress in these runs are not measured in miles or hours but in paragraphs on a page. The beginning of rach run we are presented with a few sheets of A4 with instructions of how to navigate through farms and fields; tracks and trees, cark parks and cow-pats. The true feeling of satisfaction is not the progress from mile 19 to mile 20 but the finishing of paragraph 12 and starting to read paragraph 13.

The Bath Beat started (and finished and all points in between) pouring rain. Much of the course was on dirt tracks which made this quite difficult. We were warned that this route was not exactly flat. Like a woman on a night out in a cobbled town centre I felt like I let the side down with completely unsuitable footwear.

It concerns me a bit nowadays how much my calves hurt at the first hill of any race. This case it was after only a mile. I've never felt this before but the last few races since day 2 of Jurrasic I've felt incredible pain on the first hills I ascend. Luckily (and it's a good job I remember) the pain subsides and I'm OK again after a few miles.

Unfortunately after 6 miles of this race a combination of my abysmal downhill technique and unsuitable footwear saw me slip over and slide down a mudchute, cracking my knee on a rock (or possibly several). I gashed it open a bit and it swelled. I could feel it for the rest of the run. GUCR is only 5 weeks away so a poorly knee would be most unwelcome.

The best thing about these races aside from the human interaction is the amount of great stuff you get at the checkpoints. There is always something you have not had in a run before to gorge on, this time it was Bombay Mix. Risky, but we were running in heavily wooded areas and I had some tissue on me. Some of the checkpoints were unmanned, meaning we had to take note of a name or number from some object along the way. If anyone wants to cheat the next year the telgraph pole number is 115, the lamp post was 9 and the name on the bench (obscured by a tramp) was Eunice Davies.

The paragraphs fell by the wayside like mile markers in a "proper" race. Each of the checkpoints was lavishly supplied with biscuits and cake. I ran with Dave for most of it and we nearly missed a checkpoint. Not sure where we went wrong but we did climb under a railway bridge and over a fence so we couldn't have been on track. We did eventually see some other runners who informed us that they had just passed the last checkpoint and it was about a mile away. Dave was keen to go back and make sure this race counted officially as he was on 96 marathons and was not going to cheat himself. So we ran back to the checkpoint and back again towards the finish.

My knee didn't bother me anymore which was a relief, though I finished yet another race with a schoolboy graze. Don't know why it always seems to be me that gets these injuries, I just fall over a lot more than normal.

This was a really nice run with great path, some canal sections and in a historic UK town. Would do this again.

FLM Circus

It is a bit sad how many people regard the FLM (the only marathon I
can think of whose name is inseperable from it's sponsor) as the only
marathon there is inthe whole world ever. Though I do enjoy having the
following conversation dozens of times each year

idiot - So are you running the marathon this year?
me - Which marathon?
idiot - "The" marathon?
me - But which marathon?
idiot - You know? The Marathon?
me - Which Marathon? There are thousands of them. Several hundred in
the UK alone each year.
idiot - Oh I don't know, you know "the" marathon. The one with all
them hippos.

The crowd and support are the two things that the (F)LM is far
superior to other marathons (that I've done). The crowds are great
because they hide hideous places like deptford and poplar, though they
can hide some of the interesting stuff too. The first 2 times I did it
I completely missed that big boat on mile 7. Now it's just a pile of ash.

Paris and Berlin would get my vote for being really big events and
actually getting some nice parts of the city in there. Dublin was
quite good too.

Ones to avoid (from an asthetic point of view) are Milan (24 miles of
motorway), Athens (despite inventing the whole idea the route is 26
miles of motorway, no one for miles and they managed to get the course
to loop onto itself which led to collisions) and Prague (one of the
most beautiful cities I've ever seen, a great castle, great town
square, river, bridges. Pity the route manages to miss all of this)

My personal favourite city marathon would be the god forsaken
chav-ridden cesspit I grew up in. I know Leicester is not a big city
but it was a great course (basically you run out of Leicester and then
back in) and was well supported. I also fondly remember nearly
breaking my back as I slipped over a discarded kebab on mile 2. It was
just like being back at 6th form...

Exmoor - Another 29 mile marathon

Do these people in the south west not have a ruler?

The Exmoor coastal marathon was possibly the most spectacular marathon I have yet run. I say probably because for much of it I had my head down in an attempt to stop my lungs from exploding.

I  get to that start of most races nowadays not quite sure how I am feeling. Back to back marathons are taking their toll and leaves me feeling flat at the start of a race. However that feeling soon subsides when the running start. Well, at least until the first hill, which was about 2 minutes into the race.

I've gone into each race recently hurting from the last one. This was no different. After about half a mile there was a steep hill and lots of steps. About an 800ft ascent. I felt so much pain in my calves again (a part of my body that didn't trouble me till recently) as I went up a hill just half a mile into the race. All the time I keep thinking to myself that this is a good learning experience for me. 6 weeks time I'm going to be feeling worse than this and will still have further to go. I need to know how it feels to run long hard distances when my body feels so weak.

Luckily it had stopped raining just as the race started which allowed us to look up and admire the beautiful view of the exmoor coast. I felt sorry for all those poor suckers who are running the Deptford circus the next day. 

The first "10k" measured suspiciously at 11.5k. I'm always in two minds when that happens. It's either annoying that I'm going to take longer to finish this that expected or I'm getting some value for money miles - free miles that I don't even have to pay for. For marathons is such settings these VFM miles are very welcome. Somehow i doubt that I'll feel the same if another mile was added to the GUCR.

The route then went on a uphill (a theme here) stretch of road. There was a sign warning motorists about the 25% incline. No such warning for runners. I've become a wimp recently and walked a lot of hills. I often use the excuse that there are too many people in front of me in the way to run but I couldn't use the same excuse this time. The road was massive.

Soon we were on the top of some cliffs looking at the coastal path. It wasn't as windy as the Jurassic coast which was good because it allowed me to keep my head up and look.

Cameramen have a habit of hiding in secluded places (usually at the tops of hills) and taking awful photos of runners as they struggle up a hill. They are like snipers. However this one was different. They got some spectacular photos including this one that appeared in the race report in Runners World.

The route followed coastal trails and roads and had about 5 very long inclines in total. It was by far the hardest marathon I've ever done but also the best looking. I ran alongside some randoms as usual including an older lady who could still run up the final hill that led into a hilltop town. I walked it and overtook some others trying to run it, there seemed no point in destroying my legs.

I reached the last water station when my watch said 26 miles. I was a bit dehydrated though it was completely my own fault. I did not take enough with me and it was getting hot. Obviously a great thing about a race being long is that you get some extra miles for free. The bad side is that you never really know where you stand in terms of distance remaining. I didn't really worry though as it was such a nice race and a nice day.

I finished in just over 5 hours and was surprised to find out that I'd come second in the series and won a rucksack. I can't think how I came second, I must have been one of about 4 runners to do the 3 races required. Another great race that was really hard but well worth the trek down to the end of the country for.

 

The Picnic Marathon - July 2007

Entry to this race was a result of unstoppable human instinct. My every encounter with a wet paint sign has resulted in me leaving a finger mark on the gloss. Every time I hear “don’t touch that it’s hot” usually leads to a date with some frozen peas or a cold tap. So when I discover a website that boasts of 26 miles that make up “The Hardest Marathon in Britain”, well, who am I to deny myself these natural throbbing urges?

I had never seen Box Hill before though I’d heard a lot about it. A friend made an interesting analogy. The difference between Box Hill and a regular hill is like the difference between a box jellyfish and a normal jellyfish. They are more or less the same except that a box jellyfish is about 10 times more likely to kill you.

Before the start we set about constructing a picnic. This involved lugging boxes drink, water and carrots (?) up a hill to the start/finish line. I asked whether the carrots were because we would be finishing in the dark. Leading the picnic building (and the race) was a man in some very suspect Union Jack shorts called Dr Robert. He read out the usual pre-race spiel. There are 32 hills in this race, add 50% to your marathon pb to get an estimated time, last time only 12 took part in this race and no one has returned to do it again. Oh and by the way, of those 12, two of them made it to the top of the first hill and then quit.

The start (hill 1/32) was a grassy face of Box Hill. It took a good 5 minutes to gingerly jog up and onto a 100 yard stretch of flat(ish) trail. Into the woods and then down 190 enormous steps to a stream with some stepping stones. Over we went and around some more trail and then back to those steps.

I’ve never really thought about how to take steps in a race. Maybe there should be a “stepsonsaturday” group or a Greenwich steps time trial to coach us? These steps were big and each would add a teaspoon of lactic acid into your legs. Myself and others crawled up supporting our body weight with our hands on our knees. We accepted the fact that in this case there was no escalator, though I was keeping my eye out for a suggestions box.

After the steps there was a short respite. However, nothing could take my mind of the fact that I was 20 minutes and only 1.5 miles into a marathon and I already felt like lying down and vomiting. And those steps were to return, another 3 times.

The next few miles resembled a fairly tough trail race (think North Downs 30k). This was bliss in comparison to what we’d just experienced. I could finally take my mind off the steps and enjoy the peaceful and serene environment of running in the woods. That is, until my tranquillity was spoiled by a deafening crack of thunder.

The grass turned to mudslides, the trails turned to streams. The steps had sapped my energy such that I couldn’t lift my legs that high. This resulted in me tripping over a few times and spending much of the run on my face.

There was a water stop at about 5 miles where I was informed that I was only about 1.5 miles from the turnaround point. The race consists of running out to a point and then back again and repeating. On the plus side I knew exactly what to expect. On the minus side I knew exactly what to expect – those steps, 3 more times.

Alas it was not true, straight after the water stop we were lead into some woods and hidden by the trees were more spiteful steps. “It hurts up until a point and then doesn’t get any worse”[1]. This is true and I reached that point after 20 minutes. Up the steps I went and then down a really steep slope to reach the turnaround point. People were hanging on to trees like monkeys to stop themselves from just sliding down.

And back again.

The rain continued to pour as we marched towards those steps again. A great thing about this race is that it loops onto itself quite a lot so you can always see most of the other runners. It was good to see that the leader of the race was not that far in front. It was not so good to see that the last placed runners were not that far behind….

The Midsummer Munroe Half Marathon started at 4pm, 2 hours after the picnic. I got to see the leaders sprinting at me with fresh legs and then passed the majority on the half runners on the steps near the beginning. My Gran always said it was rude to cross people on the stairs, but she also said I should never go out in the rain without my coat or to get my feet wet or muddy. She doesn’t need to find out.

Running back down the big hill at the start was quite fun. 2.24 was a fairly sobering halfway split. All that remained for me to do was to turn around, go back up that hill and then do it all over again.

The organisation of this race was superb. Dr Robert had picked a route that got the most possible hills into the 26 miles as possible. There were not a huge number of turns and each one was clearly marked. Jelly babies and mars bars were bountiful and frequent. There were no mile markers, not that it mattered. Pace would alternate between 7min miles and 15.

The website made for some comical if not intimidating reading. It initially suggested that you would not get a medal for finishing outside 5 hours. This was dispelled at the briefing when Dr Robert explained how hard this race was. Most of the other tough marathons in the UK had been completed by some of the runners in this race. Many spoke fondly of Snowdon, Beachy Head, Needles etc as really tough marathons. I think at the end of this race they redefined their concept of tough.

I had the pleasure of running this race as number 2. It’s rare that I get beaten to first place in the alphabet in a small field, though I think the number was quite fitting. Whenever someone would cheer “COME ON NUMBER 2” I’d respond “I feel like a number 2, do I look like one?”

The second half of the race did not feel as bad as I feared, probably because my body was devoid of all feeling. I passed a few of the stragglers on the half, including Ian Sharman who was walking it with his girlfriend. I savored the moment, thinking it will probably be the only time I ever overtake him in a race. He pointed out a slight technicality that we were actually in different races but I didn’t quite catch it all as I sprinted past at about 3mph.

The final downhill at the end was the one time you could truly let go. Having spent 5 hours carefully treading downhill and busting my guts to get uphill it was exhilarating to be able to sprint to the finish and not worry anymore about my legs or falling over.

I finished just over the 5 hour benchmark, though the winning time was 4.23. There was a picnic at the end and the race mementos were quite good, especially the T-shirt with all of our names on the back.

This is definitely not a race you can prepare for. The steps and the slides make it as random a marathon as you are likely to find. There was a qualifying standard of 3.30 in a flat marathon when I entered, however there was a man there who was doing this as his first marathon. I fear than every other marathon for him will now be a let down. I would fully recommend this race to anyone. Unfortunately it is only run every 2 years as it stands.

The t shirt has a quote from Winston Churchill saying “When going through hell – keep going”. I enjoyed it so much I couldn’t really call it hell and I hope I never find out what it is actually like to go through hell, and I hope I don’t have to wait for 2 years to go through this again.

---

[1] Ann Trason

Marathon De Sables 2009 Registration - March 2007

Registration opens (and closes apparently) on March 5th for the Marathon De Sables in 2009.
I suspect the reason it is so popular nowadays is that some idiot son of some "rock legend" tried to run it a couple of years back and made a tv program about it. I read that he dropped out on the second day crying like a baby.
SO, do I part with a £500 non-returnable deposit to do a race in 2 years time? Whenever I have these moments on indecision I ask the 8 ball.
I shook it and ask "Should I apply for the MDS next week"
The word that appeared in the dark and mysterious centre of the ball was "Absolutely"
Guess its decided then...

You may think its silly, but I later asked the ball "Will we win the pub quiz tonight", it answered "Are you kidding?"

It was right. We were rubbish.

Tring2Town

Tring2Town – A bloody long way.

I registered to do this race online. Name, address, club, estimated finish time, credit card details were all entered without much conscious thought from myself. Congratulations, my screen exclaimed, You are now registered for the Tring 2 Town Ultra – All the best etc. At this point my skin turned cold and my heart raced as I realised that I’d just opened the door to a dangerous place. The past 2 years had led me to this point that I knew was irreversible, something that can not be taken back. It took a moment for me to put it in order in my own head, but once I did it was simple. What has just happened that would change my life forever? – I now know my credit card details of by heart.

So, what have my keyboard happy fingers got me into trouble with now? A 45 mile race? Damn it. I’d only gone online to buy a memory card.

Six months later I’m on the starting line. It feels like its come so soon, yet I also feel that this has been on the horizon forever.

There are over 100 runners here, but I only see 6 legs – and two of these are my own. Everyone looks dressed to climb a mountain and has covered up considerably. Do they know something I don’t? Will I regret wearing shorts for this? Is it heat loss? Nettles? Dogs? The Randy Old Women of Rickmansworth?

I was getting quite a lot of attention for sporting the running number 1. People were glancing at me, obviously under a misapprehension that I was any good. There are some great perks to being top of the alphabet. You get cool running numbers, are easier to find in phone books and I always got the best seat in exams. There are one or two drawbacks though. I recall being the first in my school to have the TB jab.¹

The first 1.5 mile or so was from the hotel/pub to the start of the canal. Everyone spread out quite quickly. Some walked to canal so that they would not get over excited and try and sprint at the start. My plan was nice and simple, run 9 minute miles until I finish. I often have a problem with navigation, however now that I am on the canal I know the way. Run 31.1 miles and then turn left. No one could possibly mess that up? Right?

I mean Left....

Saturday 16^th December is a day that should be memorable to many. It was the day of the Serpentine Christmas party. That morning I had a strange premonition. I dreamed that on that night I would end up eating lots, drinking more, getting a bit tipsy and babbling on incoherently about some random nonsense whilst attempting to dance. With this in mind I decided to take precautionary measures such that these risks could be minimised. I thought that I should a) burn off these calories before I consume them, b) at least give myself a subject to babble on about and c) ensure that my legs were in no condition at all to even attempt to dance. So I put my plan into motion.

It was about time I did a long run.² I set out from my house in Ealing and asked myself - how far can I run in 6 hours? The answer was Reading. I saw some beautiful sights on my 36 mile amble down the Bath road. Heathrow Airport, The M25, The M4 (twice), Slough (whose Tesco I used as a toilet stop). I was elated at being able to run that far, walking only to cross motorways and visit petrol stations. I felt surrounded by an aura of satisfaction (and others could smell it I think) as I bought my train ticket back to Ealing and made the hour long journey back home. As I hobbled through my front door and shouted my achievement to my housemates they just stared blankly and asked “Couldn’t you have run somewhere better?” Fair point.

So, having burned over 5000 calories I felt no guilt in gorging on the unpronounceable menu at the Shepherds Bush Hilton, drinking all that I could and babbling on non stop about my run. As far as I recall, there was NO dancing, not by me anyway.³

I knew I could run at 9.00 pace for 35 miles and still feel OK. I also knew how to run this pace exactly without any need for Garmins, milemarkers or anything else. My pace was seeing me overtake a few people early on. The pack spread out neatly and I counted about 15 people in front of me. It was just a matter of time now. When my stopwatch says 7 I should be lifting my arms up and woo hooing. In 7 and a half hours I will be drunk.

The ground was quite hard to run on. It was like cement mixed with bits of brick. Very uneven and quite hard on the feet. I’d developed a running style that involved lifting my feet only a little off the floor. Great for saving energy and going easy on the knees. Not so good if you wanted to avoid tripping over too much.

We were handed a route guide that told us which bridges to cross over at. It was very simple, all of the bridges had numbers on and you were instructed to cross over at bridge x. However, the distance of the bridge from the start didn’t seem to add up. When I crossed a bridge at 5.3 miles there was an hour on the clock. It had taken me an hour to do 5 miles? So that’s 9 hours for the whole thing? I did not feel like I was going that slow. In fact I was absolutely certain I was not. At that early stage the worst thing to do would be to panic. It wasn’t as if I’d be devastated with missing my target, the thing that concerned me was how I’d judged my pace so badly. Do I run faster? Settle on a slower time? Instead I decided to go for the simpler solution, the route guide was bollocks.⁴

More bridges came and went with the same anomaly. I arrived at the first checkpoint, 9.8 miles in 1.44.

Ultimate Driving Ballads – Without the Car

I had spent the previous week carefully constructing a soundtrack for this event. Whilst training I was experimenting with food, drink⁵, clothing, shoes, pace, stretching and music. Every run would see the playlist on my cheap 8 hour device evolve into the soundscape that would get me through this. Each song had a purpose. Sweet Child O’ Mine, Free Bird, The Impossible Dream and Go Your Own Way would lift me from a low, Song Remains the Same, Tonight Tonight and The Queen is Dead would keep my tempo, Livin’ on a Prayer was to sound so that the “Whoooah we’re halfway there” coincides with exactly half way. Comfortably Numb⁶ will remind me of how shit it feels to watch your dream drift off in front of you, and you decide not to reign it back in. Always in the mood for irony or brutal truth I take Highway to Hell, The Road to Hell and Creep, “What the hell am I doing here? I don’t belong here”.

I made a decision not to carry an mp3 player on this run⁷. I never have done in a race as I’ve always thought it to be offensive to those people who have come out to cheer you. However, upon leaving the checkpoint it dawned on me that I was completely on my own. The runners had become very spaced out and the only time a passer by would talk to me would be to apologise for their Doberman mauling me.

For the next tens miles I have only my own brain for company. Could be worse, it could be Jade Goody’s brain.

So my train of thought commences. The top of my thighs hurt a bit, how are they going to cope with the remaining 35 miles? OK just don’t think about them and the pain will go away, think about something else. Oh, bridge number 165. It’s cool how every bridge has a number, it makes it easier for Trolls to tell people where they live. What happens when a new bridge is built between two consecutively numbered bridges? It would have to be called 165a or something. They couldn’t possibly re-number all the bridges could they? The Trolls would get so confused and turn up to the wrong dinner parties and everything. Oh I need a wee. Look out for somewhere where I can ... oh damn it, there’s a girl running behind me. I can’t go in front of a girl, it would be rude, and I’ll get stage fright anyway. Must hold it for a while and think of something else. Ow my thighs hurt....

I wish Jimmy Page was here.

The way to do ultra marathons (so I’ve heard) is to break it down into manageable chunks. I discovered this in my second long run. To make a 6 hour training run interesting I decided to run the length of the Central Line from Ealing Broadway to Epping. All I was thinking about was getting to the next station. I have long suspected that many of these “zone 5 & 6” stations don’t actually exist. It’s just some map drawer taking the piss. However, I can confirm that they do all exist, even Theydon Bois. Whether it was necessary to run 35 miles to prove that is still in debate.

20 miles was the second checkpoint (3.00 ish). I was still a little behind schedule but had caught up a bit. My pace had not changed so I was a bit confused still. My groin was hurting a bit more but that was all. About 4 people caught up to me and left at the checkpoint and ran on. I stayed to stretch a bit.

Only a marathon to go. Ha Ha. I was allowed to say it, but if I’d heard anyone else say it they would end up in the canal.

I started to get annoyed by my belt pack thing. I was travelling very light relative to everyone else. I just had a large bum bag. The things inside started rattling and bouncing around. It was like Chinese water torture, or Hertfordshire lucozade torture. The ground turned soft. The beautiful scenery gave way to flyovers. The picturesque buildings and boats became industrial estates and car parks. The even surface turned to mud. The friendly walkers and other joggers turned into grumpy fishermen and grumpier wives. I was headed towards Uxbridge.

One of the necessary preparations for a race like this is the kit you run in. A normal marathon would just be a case of trainers, shorts and a Serpie top. For this run though there was a lot more to it. I felt like a woman does before a Christmas party. “I could wear my black trainers, but then if it rains then my toes will get soggy, unless I wear the thicker socks. But they can sometimes give me blisters. I could wear shorts, but if it’s cold I’ll regret not wearing trousers, though my trousers don’t have very big pockets so I can fit my balms in there. Do I wear the long sleeve Serpie top or the vest with a top underneath? I could wear my white top underneath the vest, but then the white would clash with my shoes”.

3.35. ♫ Whoooaaahhh We’re half way there....

I think I passed the marathon point in 4 hours. At the same time I’d caught up with another chap who was pleased to hear that we had passed that milestone. He them informed me that the measurements were not quite right as the route plan did not include the 1.5 miles we ran to the start of the canal. I could not quite believe how I had not figured this out but it explained exactly why I was behind. I was running a perfect pace, its just I’d ran 1.5 miles more and hence should be about 14 minutes behind.

Thought express 2 – My broken Heart (Rate Monitor). Should I have used a Heart Rate Monitor to manage my effort rather than a constant pace?

I bought one of these gizmos recently and was quickly confused. To train effectively I need to know my resting heart rate, which apparently you achieve in your sleep? How are you supposed to measure that? Your maximum heart rate can be achieved after the second burst of 3 minutes of running as fast as you can. After that kind of effort I doubt I’ll be able to lift my arms to see my watch, let alone see the reading. I decided that rather than let another £40 go to waste I’ll at least have some fun with it. I thought I’d just wear it around the house and see how my heart reacts to stuff. Here is how it went;

59-Put on strap thing

80-Run downstairs with my washing and put in machine

65-Sit drinking tea and look at football scores on teletext

125-Emile Heskey??? Scores a goal?

120-Cycle to supermarket

75-Rate drops as I walk through chilled food area

135-BUY ONE GET ONE FREE – PRINGLES. Pick up 8 tubes

160-Get honked at on way home by juggernaut

90-Unpack shopping and explain to girlfriend about HRM

80-She calls me a pathetic sad geek

65-Read instructions to try to figure it about a bit more

315-Girlfriend enters room and tells me she’s pregnant

220-“Just Kidding” she says. “It’s your fault for being so sad”

175-Struggle to remove strap

0-Get strap off and throw it at her head

0-She breaks it

Thought Express 3 – In answer to the question “What do you think about when running for that long?”

It’s a hard question to answer. I think about so much but recall so little. It’s a bit like dreaming. Then I thought, it’s exactly like dreaming but the other way round. When I’m running I try not to think about the complications of the race. Whether I’ll get dehydrated, have stomach problems, what to do with a blister, what if I pull a muscle, trip over, get lost? All these things I try to push out of my mind and I think of other stuff, like what to say to my friends at the checkpoints, what to include in my race report, what I’m going to say when I cross the finish line, how bad Leicester City are, what I’d like to say to people I don’t like at work and wouldn’t world peace⁸ be great?

When I’m not running however I think about all those things in the first list. Even when I’m sleep I dream about travelling to a race, trying to remember all my stuff and getting ready at the start. That is until I’m rudely woken up by a slap round the head at 3am and someone shouting “GET THOSE BLOODY SAFETY PINS OUT OF MY BED”.

What do I think about when I’m not running? That would be a better question.

Checkpoint 3 – 28 miles ♫ Back in Black

I have now “raced” further than ever before. I have run more than a marathon and still have 17 miles to go. My legs are quite sore but I know that means nothing. One of the most important things I learned in the training is how far you can actually go when not feeling great.

The thought express was to sit in the station for a little while as I had been joined by some of my friends. Nikolai and Lou asked if it was ok to run alongside me for a while. I felt like Forrest Gump⁹. This was the part that everyone said would be most difficult. Gowan was there too. He managed to be there for every checkpoint. I felt that I was cheating slightly by having all of this great support. Most of the other runners were on their own, having travelled from far on the day to run in some place they didn’t know. I’m glad they were there though.

Lou is always fun to have around when running. She would often remind me that my “form” was good¹⁰ and that I was winning¹¹. I felt sorry for Nikolai though as he should have been running the whole thing with me. No, that’s wrong. He would have run the first mile with me then the next time I’d see him would be at the finish in 7 hours eating a burger or something. It was great to see him back running after 3 months out.

The surface was now gravel. I had several small stones in my shoe but was scared of taking it off as I’d have ended up with even more small stones in my shoe. The gravel was quite tough and my legs were getting sorer. It was great having company though. Even if one of them started coming out with this..

The Strange world of Lou Reeves 1 – “I was just thinking, wouldn’t it be awful if you found a dead body while running?” Yes, It would.

The Strange world of Lou Reeves 2 – “I’ve foolishly decided to wear a g string and it’s really uncomfortable” I wouldn’t know.

We approached the turning. 31 miles in and I was looking for a left turn, praying it would be obvious so I wouldn’t miss it. I knew that as soon as I see this I’m on the home straight. And there is was..... over a bridge then round to the left. Making the turn felt like the last turn in the London Marathon at Buckingham Palace. You can see the finish. Only I can’t. It’s FOURTEEN miles away. However I could see the Wembley Arch. It’s the first recognisable thing I have seen so far. Thank god they built it so quick.

Checkpoint 4 – 33 miles 5ish hours. ♫ The hardest part

The stretch between CP4 and CP5 was the hardest part. I’d slowed a bit and was hurting more and more. If no one was around I may have considered walking. Luckily I was in very good company. A lot of friends had come out to see me run today. To start walking would be the end of me and the thought of making everyone wait longer than necessary eliminated these cravings pretty quickly.

At 35 miles exactly Nikolai got a call. It was Ben who informed us that Ian Sharman has just won. Less than 6 hours had elapsed, I still have 10 miles to go and the Serpie I was talking to at the start had finished? I’d liked to have said “Well Done” and meant it. I’d loved to have felt really happy for him and look forward to seeing him at the end, but for some reason I couldn’t. My body and mind were filled with bile and spite.

There was a seminar the night before this race where lots of tips and stories were exchanged about ultra running. For many, including myself this was their first. There was an air of nervous anticipation in the room. The guy leading the session says that the key to success is how you feel when running. How you feel determines the outcome of your run. He asked us to take a card and to write a few words on it to say how we wanted to feel the next day. Some then read out their suggestions. “To feel Strong, in control, relaxed, the sense of achievement and to have a smile for the finish line”. I couldn’t decide what to put at the time but I did later add something to the card. Soon after Ian’s victory I thought about what I’d written, what I wanted from the race.

Nikolai and Lou were still beside me. Nikolai has been out of action for 3 months and is just returning to running. He should have been doing this too, but after 3 months he’d changed his goals and was really pleased to be running his longest run for ages.

Lou is in training for her first marathon. If she is feeling nervous about it she hides it well. She doesn’t need to worry at all. This was her first long run for a while and she looked fine.

They both ran 13 miles with me and both looked like they were enjoying themselves.

I thought of the guys at the end who were waiting to buy me beer at the nearest pub. How I was looking forward to seeing them.

Gowan had been there at every checkpoint along the way. Sometimes I’d only acknowledge his presence with a grunt. I felt guilty for a man who’d thanklessly drove from point to point on a canal to cheer me on for 2 minutes at a time. Then I remembered that I’d sent him a text message at exactly half way. It said “Start singing the song”, a reference to the Bon Jovi song that had become the official anthem for being half way through anything. I’d forgotten to ask him if he received it. I asked Nikolai, “Did Gowan like that text?” “Yes, he loved it”. Brilliant, Gowan was happy too.

I thought about what was on my card. What I wanted from this race. 6 miles from the end I realised that I’d already got what I came for. The pain receded, the pace quickened.

Checkpoint 5 41.1 miles 6.40 ♫ This is the end. My only friend, the end

The sky started to dim. I was lucky to be finishing while it is still light. Nikolai and Lou had left me to run the home straight. Harlesdon isn’t the most pleasant place to run at the best of times, however it contained a steel cold beauty. Iron bridges, rail depots, dockyards, rusty boats, abandoned warehouses and idle cranes. It felt like I was running back into London.

Ben and Simon had joined me at this point. I think they were anxious to get to the pub. I felt stronger and faster than I had been for the whole race. I have never felt this good in the last 4 miles of a marathon. Navi popped up out of nowhere and started running too. It was Forrest Gump all over again. There were a couple of really steep bridges along the way. I have spent the day exploring the 4 dimensions of space and time and so I was not going to let a slight blip in the 3^rd dimension beat me.

I could now see 3 people ahead of me. If I pick up the pace I could catch them, all of them. Alas there was no time. If the race had been a mile longer id have done it. Damn the race for being so short. I finished in 10^th place. I got caught up in the euphoria so much that I nearly forgot to get my medal¹².

So what now? There are so many places to go from here I don’t really know where to begin. Longer Ultras or Multistage ones? I don’t know. I’ll leave that thinking for a little while. In the mean time I have a marathon to train for in 3 months, and I need to start reducing my mileage.

Top Ten Tips for Ultra Fun

1. Get used to running whilst you are still aching. I did 20 miles runs followed by 20 mile again the next day. From the very first step on the second day I was aching, however I knew that I needed to know how this feels. Knowing that you can run 20 miles whilst feeling sore is what will get you through a race like this. Be very careful about confusing aching with injury though. If you feel injured, stop.
2. Drink early. I could comfortably run 15 miles without fluid. However, run any further and the dehydration will catch up on you with interest. I discovered this on my first long run. 15 miles no drink. After 25 I had to stop in every shop and guzzle half a litre of drink and it wouldn’t quench my thirst.
3. Talk about it constantly. Think “Fight Club” but with the opposite rules. First rule - talk about it constantly, second rule - talk about it constantly, third rule – if someone does not know about it then go and talk to them about it forcefully, fourth rule – if someone changes the subject to themselves talk about it even louder, fifth rule – if all your friends desert you for being boring, don’t panic. That will leave you with more spare time to run.
4. Vaseline – EVERYWHERE. Just don’t get caught in the bike room at work applying the stuff.
5. Turn your long training runs into at bit of an adventure. My run along the central line felt a bit like the journey of Frodo Baggins. Leaving the shire (Marble Arch), galloping though Rohan, land of men (St Pauls), evading orcs and uruk hai through the detestable bowels of hell (Bethnal Green). Then through the secret staircase into Mordor (Roding Valley), sneaking up Mt Doom wary of the Nasgul (Theydon) then sanctuary in heavenly Rivendale (Epping).
6. Don’t experiment with music (if you take it) on a long run. Take what you know will work. I made the mistake of getting over excited in a HMV sale and bought loads of cheap CD’s from bands I’d heard were quite good but I wasn’t sure whether I liked them or not. The band I took was Korn. I thought they were some sort of hard rock band; turns out they produce some god damn awful rapity hop or something. I first attempted the central line run listening to this shite. After 3 hours of listening to f*****g this and f*****g that and everything is f*****g f****d I just felt like killing myself. Instead I got on the train at Leyton and went home. It’s a mistake that Frodo didn’t make. Next time it was Celine Dion all the way......
7. When you get overtaken by a smug runner in the street, just catch up and ask “so how far have you run today? 8 miles? Oh”
8. 90% of distance running is psychological. The other half is in your head
9. Stretch as much as possible after a run. I did and could do so much more the days after. (Yeah, I know it’s a tired cliché but it works. Like when your mum says “always wash behind your ears, wrap up warm when you go outside and stay away from that Cynthia from the villiage).
10. Remember, from what I’ve heard most people who turn to the ultra side never go back.

Acknowledgments (If Alphabetical order, since that always decides what’s best)

Ambition Events – For organising such a great race

BBC Weather – They got it right, for once.

Ben Cope – For pacing me over the last 4 miles and not muscling in on my photo opportunity at the finish.

British Waterways – For providing these lovely canals for us to run on.

Debbie Edwards – For all the coaching and encouragement in the past 12 months. Though she did piss off to New Zealand on the big day....

Fetcheveryone.com – For counting all my training miles and for the great advice I got off other users

Google Maps – For visualising exactly how far this was. (You can see the start, the finish and Canada in the same shot)

Gowan Clews – For being at every checkpoint. For thinking about this day probably more than I was. For refuelling me with fantastic cake and Serpie fudge along the way. For always being there when I needed energy drink and encouragement. The lift home was pretty useful too.

Ian Sharman – Amusing me greatly by comprehensively winning this race wearing tennis shorts and a hoodie.

Imodium instants – Came up trumps once again.

Lou Reeves – For taking my mind off the running with her own odd sense of reality

Navi Dhillon – Sports massage and for running about 1 mile with me in boots.

Nikolai Pitchforth – For pacing me in a race he would loved to have done himself. For wanting to continue the journey into ultras with me after this.

Serpentine Running Club – For the nice top

Simon Bamfylde – Running the final 4 with me despite the risk of muddying his nice shoes and jeans.

Tesco, Slough – Nice toilets

Gatcliff 50k - Nov 2006

Greetings from the ultra side.

On registration I picked up the 8 page map. My eyes glanced over the “TL into the FD. 600m FL ignore G continue and XST by the KGT”. Thinking how I often struggle to find my own bedroom I realised that this could be a long day.

And then some hope. I found a guy who was starting the race the same time as me. (I cockily turned up for the 9.30 start because I had this silly idea in my head that I was quite good at running.) Great. So long as I can keep up with him I’ll be fine. Oh, what’s that you say? You’ve won this event ten years in a row?

Bugger.

We started the first stage. I made a few observations on the way such as; its very muddy, there are a few hills, not another style, oh that rusty gate looks hazardous, ahhh look at those cute sheep. This was met with responses such as; yeah it gets muddier, yeah it gets hillier, yes there are hundreds, I know its worse in the dark, don’t be fooled by their apparent fluffiness – they are evil – just keep running and pray. I’d like to think I was currently doing the hard bit. How wrong. How wrong.

First Checkpoint – 7.5k 52 minutes. Apparently that was fast.

A drink and some chocolate digestives and we were away. (Incidentally, the entry fee for this was only £6. For that I got about 10 cups of juice, three cups of tea, soup, 10 chocolate digestives, 2 sausage rolls a ham and tomato sandwich, 7 ritz crackers, a twix and a bacon sandwich. Just a shame they make you get muddy first)

After about 8 miles or so my companion decided I was too slow. “Are you OK with the instructions as I’m going to pick up the pace a bit?” Yeah yeah I’m fine I say. I’ll figure it out.

Exactly two minutes later I was lost.

I was in a golf course. The instructions said something about a golf course but I couldn’t understand. I ask some golfers whether they’d seen someone run past and they pointed down a path. I followed and then onto a road, stopped a car an asked them the way to Godstone, the village I was aiming for. I was going completely the wrong way. That golfer had deliberately misled me. B*****D. Then I thought, if you are up that early to play the most boring sport in the world you have to do something to make it fun. (For those that think Cricket is the most boring sport in the world, you are wrong. Cricket is not a sport).

Somehow 20 minutes later and by accident I found a gap in a hedge that was mentioned in the notes. Found a yellow brick road and soon was in Kansas City.

Checkpoint 2 – 15k .05. need to bring meaning to the phrase “make up for lost time”.

If you are familiar with the works of MC Escher you may recognise the picture where the people are marching upstairs in a loop continuously. It’s a great picture sure, but it’s impossible in reality isn’t it? No. They have accomplished the very same thing over a 50 kilometre course using horrid muddy hills instead of steps. The course became unreal. One muddy hill followed another. A bit of muddy flat followed by a steep muddy hill then a steeper muddier hill followed by a slightly less steep muddy steep hill.

These hills could barely be ascended on foot. The worst came just before the end of the stage. A Big hill followed by a huge staircase. Stairway to heaven? Almost. At the end was chicken soup.

Checkpoint 3 – 24.5k 3.35 I could have jogged a marathon by now.

With races like this the most confusing map instructions are always the ones immediately after the checkpoints. Such as “Leave exit, Turn Left and then turn left on road”. That’s fine, but what about when there are 2 exits? And 2 roads?

Obviously I picked the wrong one and ran half a mile in the wrong direction before I realised that I had gone several minutes and have not seen a hill or any mud. I am way off course. So I returned to the checkpoint and was lead in the right direction. “This way dear, just turn left here and go into that big pile of mud”

What followed this was a really beautiful part of the course. I was on top of a big hill with great views of several other hills, villages and of course the M25. Finally there was a downhill bit. Unfortunately this downhill was so steep that I had to walk down otherwise I would have either broken my leg or ran straight into the M25. Still, it was a welcome break from hills and mud. (Did I mention those?)

One of the really exciting things about doing this race was the opportunity to carry some equipment that I had not carried before. In my bum bag were the following; A torch, a compass, an ordinance survey map (187), a rain jacket, 4 boost bars, paracetemol, Imodium, toilet paper (all bases covered), phone and money. There was one essential item that the organisers did not tell me I’d need – a dictionary.

“FR downhill, TL over F just before the bifurcated birch tree”. Forgive me for my poor vocobl poor vacublu poor covabular for not knowin no words or nuthin but I had never come across that word before. I knew that “bi” meant two or twice, but was does that mean? And then I realised, what’s the point of worrying about it? I don’t even know what a birch tree looks like? I ran back up the hill and bumped into someone I overtook earlier and ran with him for a bit.

Checkpoint 4 – 34k 4.50 For some reason I thought, its OK, it’ll get better. Given that it was getting worse and worse its hard to justify in retrospect that logic.

I’m not going to finish this in daylight. On the plus side I get to use my new head lamp. On the minus side how the **** was I going to manage to navigate in the dark given that I’m so bad in the light?

I carried on some quite pleasant and runable paths. They were uphill but not very muddy. I passed another couple of people. These events are fantastic for chatting to others. They were armed with Garmins that informed them that we have actually done more than the advertised distance. In the end I think the measured distance was 55k, I did at least 5 more on top of that in detours. After chatting for a while I decided I wanted to run again and so I set off and left them. In doing so I entered a world of pain.

I misread an instruction. I was supposed to follow a path until it reached a track. For some reason I read “track” as “style”. I ran and ran and ran saying “Where’s this f*****g style? Out loud if I recall. Some time later I realised that I must have got it wrong so I went back. I found the two intrepid explorers from before trying to figure out where to go. Here I discover a new trail race motto. “If you’re gonna get lost, take as many with you as possible”.

We were briefly on the right path and then came to an ambiguous point in the route. We could not decide whether it was left or right. Left or Right? Right or Wrong? Can’t remember exactly. But it wasn’t right.

Looking back I feel like such an idiot. We were about a mile from the next checkpoint. The checkpoint was called “Crockham Hill”, yet we decided to go downhill. Serves us right for being idiots. We crossed a huge field (which was probably muddy, by then I could not tell where my body ended and the mud started) and found a couple of people walking. They were not in the race, but they did know the way to Crockham Hill. Would you believe it? It was back the way we came. I didn’t see that coming at all…..

At this point it was getting dark and we were all walking. I could have run but I thought what’s the point? I’ll just get lost quicker.

Checkpoint 5 – 42.9k 7.25

I came here with a reasonably good time as a goal. I now just want to leave Kent alive. The rest of it is downhill. Lovely. We took a detour along a road that was going to Edenbridge, the place where we had to end up. I knew how to get there from the train station so in theory if we follow the signs to Edenbridge we’ll make it.

And make it we did. I arrived in a glorious time of 8.27. Not quite what I was expecting but I realised that this was the first race I’d done for ages where I didn’t know what to expect.

I was asked to take my muddy shoes off before entering the building. I said I already have. Those are my actual feet. “Oh”, she said, “use plenty of talc”.

So it finally finished. The hardest race I have ever done. Though, the last part it was no longer a race. Not with each other anyway.

Words I may live to regret……

On the train back to London whilst reflecting on my day of hardship I could not get this thought out of my mind…

45 miles on a flat walkway beside a canal?

Easy.

Probably the Best Marathon Album in the World Ever - Paris 2006

Distance & Time	Mental state	Physical state	Song & lyric excerpt	Description
Pre race	Cool anticipation	Cold and tight	Canon(Pachelbel)	When music as nice as this exists, there can't possibly be anything bad in this world. Can there?
Pre race	Cool anticipation	Cold and tight	Beautiful Day(U2) Don't let it get away	Cool and sunny. Perfect conditions. The Arc de Triomphe really did look magnificent. What a great day to run a marathon…
Pre race	Cool anticipation	Cold and tight	Sunshine of your Love(Cream) I've been waiting so long, to be the sunshine of your love	The waiting will soon be over. Soon I'll know whether it will be a glorious day or a miserable one…
Pre race	Cool anticipation	Cold and tight	I predict a riot(Kaiser Chiefs) I predict a riot(x8)	Quite fitting for Paris. And the amount of barging at the start was unbelievable
Distance & Time	Mental state	Physical state	Song & lyric excerpt	Description
Start(00:00:00)	Cool anticipation	Cold and tight	Ride of the Valkyries(Wagner)	Perfect music for the start of a huge campaign, such as a helicopter invasion of Vietnam, or a Marathon
0.5km (00:04:00)	Frustrated xenophobe	Warming nicely	I can see for miles(The Who) I can see for miles and miles and miles and miles and miles (I tried km's but it doesn't work)	The start is downhill, and when you pass the start line (ten minutes) you can see a huge sea of people for miles. Great. There are a million people beating me already
1km (00:06:00)	Frustrated xenophobe	Warming nicely	Flight of the Bumble Bee I think I was actuallyda da daaing this song as I went round	As usual, all those people who decided to run in fives and are tied together seem to have started closer to the front than you did. The amount of sideways moving you have to do reminds you of playing squash.
2km (00:12:00)	Frustrated xenophobe	Warming nicely	Highway star(Deep Purple)	6 minute kms are no good. Need to be more aggressive and push through
3km (00:17:00)	Frustrated xenophobe	Feel the blood flowing	Don't stop me now(Queen) I'm faster than the speed of light(Actually, I wasn't even travelling at the speed of sound, but was still probably faster than the Northern Line)	Running on the pavement, in the grass, just anything to get ahead
4km (00:22:00)	Frustrated xenophobe	Feel the blood flowing	Bat out of hell(Meat Loaf) I'll be gone when the morning comes	This song was written just for running around gothic buildings. Never though I'd get a chance to test it like this
Distance & Time	Mental state	Physical state	Song & lyric excerpt	Description
5km (00:26:00)	Settled	Starting to sweat	Crosstown traffic(Jimi Hendrix) Tyre tracks all over your back honey, I see you've had your fun	I doubt Mr Hendrix was running in a crowd when he wrote this song
6km (00:31:00)	Settled	Starting to sweat	Street Fighting Man(Rolling Stones) The time is right for fighting in the street	The French are surprisingly fiesty when fighting amongst themselves
7km (00:37:00)	Settled	Warm and cosy	Bittersweet symphony(The Verve)	You remember the video to this? I can now fully sympathise with Richard Ashcroft when he was barging all those people out the way
8km (00:42:00)	Settled	Warm and cosy	Free bird(Lynyrd Skynryd) I'm as free as a bird now	Starting to free up a bit. The guitar solo to this song has been described as a marathon effort. Like to see them here?
10km (00:50:00)	Settled		Eruption(VanHalen) This year the Imodium came up trumps (so to speak). It’s the longest I've ever run without having to jettison anything	The stage where I usually need a portaloo…
11km (00:55:00)	Settled		Stockholm syndrome(Muse)	You're starting to actually enjoy yourself. And the very thought seems perverse
12km (01:00:00)	Settled	Slight aches	Where the streets have no name(U2)	The streets do have names, I just can't read them
14km (01:10:00)	Settled	Endorphins kick in	Yesterday(The Beatles) Yesterday all my troubles seemed so far away. Now it looks as though they're here to stay (Can you believe the guy who wrote this then inflicted Wings upon us?)	This time yesterday I was still in bed. Today was Tomorrow, and it came a day too soon
15km (01:15:00)	Settled	Endorphins kick in	Solsbury Hill(Peter Gabriel)	You can see an incline. But there's nothing to fear. Relax
16km (01:20:00)	Settled	Endorphins kick in	Uninvited guest(Marillion) I'm the 13th at the table, I'm the univited guest	Start running through a park. No spectators, just people walking their dogs
19km (01:35:00)	Settled	Slight aches	Wind of change(Scorpions) The wind of change blow straight into the face of time	After a 4k gradual accent you turn around and go back down
Distance & Time	Mental state	Physical state	Song & lyric excerpt	Description
21km (01:45:00)	Reassured	Slight aches	Livin' on a prayer(Bon Jovi) whoaaahhwe're half way there	Whenever I'm halfway through anything, this song always pops into my head. Even if I'm halfway to Ealing Broadway on the Central line
22km (01:50:00)	Like a Rock Star	Slight aches	Money for nothing(Dire Straits) Get your money for nothing, and your chicks for free (Very true apart from the money… And the chicks)	At this stage you are going in and out of underpasses, with bridges full of cheering spectators. In this section I heard 2 people shout "come on serpentine" Fantastic. It makes such a difference
25km (02:05:00)	Like a (faded) Rock Star	Slight aches	When I'm 64(The Beatles) Will you still need me? Will you still feed me? When I'm 64?	In a couple of hours I won't be able to walk, talk properly or take full responsibility for my digestive system. Is this what it's like to be old?
Distance & Time	Mental state	Physical state	Song & lyric excerpt	Description
26km (02:10:00)	Solidarity Brothers ...	Slight aches	Winner takes it all(ABBA) The winner takes it all. The loser's standing small	You pass the 26 mark. But it's kms and not miles. You realise that the winners will have finished by now
26km (02:11:00)	Solidarity Brothers ...	Slight aches	Tunnel of love(Dire Straits)	There is this really eerie tunnel, where all of a sudden it's just you and the other runners. It's dark and echoey and lasts 1 km. The runners are all shouting stuff. It's really strange but nice. Only later did I find out that I was running on the spot where Diana met her end
27km (02:20:00)	Solidarity Brothers ...	Slight aches	Paradise City(Guns 'n' Roses) Take me down to the paradise city, where the grass is green and the girls are pretty	You see the Eiffel Tower. You remember that this place means a whole lot more than 4 hours of pain
Distance & Time	Mental state	Physical state	Song & lyric excerpt	Description
28km (02:25:00)	Light headed	Thirsty	Barbarism begins at home(The Smiths) A crack on the head is what you get for asking, and a crack on the head is what you get for not asking	I started to really need the water stops. They were manic. People would just stop and chat. It was wet and slippy and you basically have the choice, risk injury or risk dehydration?
29km (02:30:00)	Light headed	Thirsty	You stole the sun from my heart(Manic Street Preachers) I should really stop smiling. It gives the wrong impression now	The sun goes in. This is bad news. I was planning on absorbing more energy through photosynthesis
30km (02:35:00)	Light headed	Bit more all round pain	Worst Case Scenario(dEUS) The horror, the pain and the alphabet	You're starting to hate everything. Running, other runners, friends, family, food, work etc. Not quite sure what they meant by this lyric, but at this stage I think the alphabet is fair game too
Distance & Time	Mental state	Physical state	Song & lyric excerpt	Description
31km (02:41:00)	Desperate isolation	Unknown	Time(Pink Floyd) You run and you run to catch up with the sun but its sinking, And racing around to come up behind you again, The sun is the same in a relative way but you're older, Shorter of breath and one day closer to death	Listen to the words of this song. It’s the most anti-running thing I've ever heard. An 8 minute epic about the futility of running and chasing things. At this stage you are inclined to agree…
32-36km (02:47:00)	Desperate isolation	Unknown	Shine on you Crazy Diamond(Pink Floyd) Now theres a look in your eyes, like black holes in the sky	There has not been a better song / album written about this particular feeling. That of being the centre of attention, with everyone cheering you on, but at the same time feeling more alone than you have ever been. Written about a man who spent just three years in the spotlight and then 30 years in psychiatric care. For the first time in 4 months you are not sure whether you will make it to the finish line
36km (03:10:00)	Desperate isolation	Unknown	Comfortably Numb(Pink Floyd) There is no pain, you are receeding	The 3.30 pacemaker floats past, but you no longer care
37km (03:15:00)	Re-motivated	Perfect	There There(Radiohead) Just cos you feel it, doesn't mean it's there	Just done a km in 4.45. Obviously not is such bad shape. Overcome by a sudden sense of euphoria. I can speed up again. Was the previous 8km all in my head?
Distance & Time	Mental state	Physical state	Song & lyric excerpt	Description
38km (03:20:00)	Mind over matter	Legs weigh 10 stone	Everybody Hurts(REM) Everybody hurts, sometimes	A lot of people are walking at this point. Other peoples' misery is sometimes reassuring
39km (03:25:00)	Mind over matter	12 stone	Days of our Lives(Freddie Mercury) The bad things in life are so few	Whenever I'm not sure whether its worth digging deep to achieve something, I will always remember when I was 11 years old. I watched a man who was a few months away from dying of Aids. He didn't complain or even tell anyone, he just wrote and performed one of the most beautiful songs ever done. What was required of me here seems trivial and easy in comparision
40km (03:30:00)	Mind over matter	15 stone	I am the Resurrection(Stone Roses) I could never ever bring myself to hate you as I'd liked	Kind of like after an argument with your other half. You thought and said some silly things that you regret and you just want to kiss and make up. I didn't mean any of it. It came out all wrong
41km (03:34:00)	Mind over matter	20 stone	Seven Nation Army(White Stripes) A seven nation army couldn't hold me back	Get out of my way everyone, I'm coming through
Finish line (03:39:50)	Euphoria	I'm floating...	We are the champions(Queen) The whole song. REALLY LOUD	The most sung song on planet earth. And it feels like it was written just for me, just for this moment
Medal line (post race)	Euphoria		Stairway To Heaven(Led Zeppelin) All that glitters is gold	The Medal is HUGE