Winter Tanners 30

I used the last of my ink printing off the  5 pages of instructions for the tanners 30 challenge. I tried to estimate the time it would take by reading blogs I had done recently but I never even mentioned the time. Oh well, it was nice to go back reading all that.

The first bit of map reading was to get to the start. I was going to run with Noel who lives in nearby. The m25 was closed where we needed it and we had the choice between the easier but longer option of going around the m25 the other way or a more technical and gnarly route through Wembley and Brentford. We took the latter.

So much wonderful scenery but I missed all that to take photos of my fucking face instead

So much wonderful scenery but I missed all that to take photos of my fucking face instead

The start was quite eventful. About 580Y into the run, just before the FL we saw a guy running back to the start who had FHG. Another only 200Y later we looked on the floor to see the chap had actually DHG and so went back for him, adding about 0.5 BM right at the start.

The weather was perfect and because of the LD we figured it would be pointless to only come for the 20. We were definitely going to FBD though, we put our head torches in our packs though JFL.

There was plenty of mud, the HSM rather than the MTTIH. We slipped and slides more like BAB rather than T&D which slowed us down a bit. There were a few times where I SAOT but managed to hold it together.

Soon we caught up with some familiar faces, Claire and Dan and some others whose name I forgot. We all chatted about running and stuff and a book of the same name DYKIHABO?

It was soon time for the first CP and it was very welcome, I immediately STBDOAPORC. A bit of ultra faffing and we were back on our way. 

We ran ahead of Claire and co, determined to finish this before dark. Not long later we took a WT and ended up climbing a CUH before asking some walkers where we were and then getting back on track. Within a mile we did the same thing again, except going downhill. Great way to EURATGP.

Eventually we got back on the correct path with a little help from a man on a bike and is intimate knowledge of fingerposts. He sure was a COCK.

Some more mud and plenty more hills and while changing his shoes Noel was SBEF.  I used the time wisely and SAH before we tried to MUFLT. For the second time we overtook a couple of ladies who didn't mind us passing though I thought they were MILFs.

We passed the PONR, or rather the point were we committed to doing 30 miles instead of 20. I was really pleased that there was not too much QT. It took us 3 hours just to run a HM. Still, as we all know it's the TPTC.

A few hours later we caught up with Claire and her gang. It was nice having some other people to follow and it's always useful to have SIN. The miles seemed to get quicker towards the end. You can check the pace on my STRAVA feed.

Eventually we finished in about 7.30, just before dark. A handsome PW but a really good day out. My first ultra for about 6 months. I hope you have enjoyed this efficiently written RR. Until next time.


SAH - Stroked a Horse
LHG - Lost his Glasses
CRWGA - Crossed Road with Gay Abandon
SAOT - Slipped Arse over Tit
PIAB - Pissed in a Bush
SBEF - Shocked by electric fence
MTTIH - Mud that turns into hokas
LD - Long drive
BAB - Bambi at Birth
T&D - Torville and Dean
BM - Bonus Miles
COCK - Chap of Curious Knowledge
CUH - Completely Unnecessary Hill
STBDOAPORC - Smashed the back doors off a plate of ritz crackers
WT - Wrong Turn
EURATGP - Embarrassing Ultra Runners Among the General Public
MILF - Mildly Inconvenienced Laden Female
PONR - Point of No Return
QT - Quitters Talk
HM - Half Marathon
STRAVA – Cockwomble
RR - Race Report