Bedknobs and Beer

“ – you’ll like this place” my wife promised me as she started rearranging my weekend in light of my foot injury. I was supposed to be doing some running this weekend but a run-in with a car put paid to that.

I figured that I am unlikely to like this place as it sells sofas which I don’t find particularly exciting. However she added that they serve coffee and beer in order to appease the other half who inevitably finds situations like this quite stressful.

“So you could say it’s a pub/coffee house with very comfy places to sit?”

Now you are talking.

There is a time in every man’s life where he has to answer some really important questions. Not the boring ones like “what is the purpose of life” or “how should I raise my child?” No these ones are much harder to answer because in fact it is hard to actually have an opinion on them. Questions such as;

“How will the shine and texture of this door knob affect the quality of my life over the next twenty years?”

I find it hard to put myself in a situation where I can even imagine that any door knob will somehow improve or be a detriment to my life. However it is not good form to say “I don’t know”, worse to say “I don’t care” and perhaps worse still to say “I don’t want to care”.


So I have to walk the fine line of giving enough input so that I appear interested while not going over the top “MARVELLOUS!, this shade of mahogany will accentuate the olive bronzing of your skin in summer quite deliciously”.

It is difficult.

But I think are onto a winner here by making this a lot less stressful for the less interested party. I do obviously want to live in a lovely house and already have the most lovely wife however I feel a bit stressed on being pressed about things I don’t feel like I can give an informed opinion on. If you were to ask me one what to do about the demise of the English bat and ball team in the ashes this year you will be met with a shrug.

I could not form an opinion on a bed. I don’t often look down at the bed (when I am facing that way naturally my attention is somewhere else). I just lie on it and look upwards, with my eyes closed and so the look of a bed is not that important to me. However I did strangely have an opinion on a sofa. I wanted it to be a “L” shape for some reason. Not sure why but think I hid it well.

Later we went to some posh shop on the Fulham Road looking at dining tables. They were set up to make dining look like punishment. Why would anyone buy anything here. It reminded me of the Harry Enfield sketch.